Catlady i was basically raised similar to you, although i never experienced the soap in the mouth treatment or anything other than a hand,there is a fine line between what we call discipline and child abuse I believe, i still think we can raise our children to be adults without the use of physical punishment, there are other means and ways that are just as effective ,but IMO more dignified, this comes from a parent who has indeed used both methods, i can tell you from experience i much prefer using time out, loss of priviliges etc to spanking any day, IMO spanking never really achieved much except making me feel bad about myself,i think my son learn't far better when i started using alternative methods,now that is just from my own personal experience and valuation.

I am uncertain as to whether teaching a child it is ok for us to hit them when they do wrong, is indeed healthy.

The only thing i remember about being spanked was the humiliation i felt,and of course it did hurt a little, but not near as much as my feelings did, I cannot see that does anyone good really,and people spank for different reasons,some people think it is fine to give a quick sharp smack if your child is in danger, like going to put their hands on the oven ring for example, but would not a sharp NO and taking their hand away learn them just as well, if not more,communication surely is a better, and more effective measure,if the child is too young too understand NO, will it understand your meaning behind your smacking either,anyhow just my thoughts on the subject today.