How Do I Get Mum To Lemme Buy A Puppy?!?!?!

[theterrierman]

First of all, if you want people to take you seriously, maybe try spelling correctly. You're 17 and in college, I'm sure you've learned correct spelling, grammar and punctuation by now. Second, if you're still living at home, your mom can make any rule she wants, and you have to respect that. Third, you're in college right now, which is the wrong time to buy a puppy IMO. You've waited 12 1/2 years, you can wait a few more. If you are dead-set on a dog, maybe look at a rescued adult without many issues, or a retired/non-breeding quality adult from a REPUTABLE BREEDER.

[wolfsoul]

Your mother knows us better than we do -- perhaps she feels you are not responsible enough for a dog, or too busy. Going to college AND working is a huge commitment in itself. A puppy needs alot of time and attention.

You need to ask yourself if it is possible for you to let him out every 1-3 hours to potty while you are at school and work. My pup is over 6 months old and it was only last week that I finally allowed him to stay home alone while I went to work. Any sooner than 6 months and he would have peed in the house -- pups have smaller, weaker blatters and can not hold their pee like adults can. If this isn't possible for you, you need to consider the costs of doggy daycare, which can be expensive, and many places will not accept a dog under 4 months of age. Doggy daycares are also one of the worst places for your dog picking up lice and fleas, so the treatment for these and their costs will need to be taken into account. You need to schedule time for puppy classes, extra training at home, walks, socialisation, etc. Puppies are a full-time job. I'm lucky I am able to bring my dogs to work, or there is no way I could have a puppy.

Now in your costs I'm assuming you covered the costs of vaccinations/nosodes/titers, puppy obedience classes, dog food, toys, treats, vet checkups, collars/leashes, crates, first aid equipment, dishes, grooming costs, disease prevention, etc -- but what will you do if your dog has something wrong with it and you need to spend $5000 to keep it alive? Who is going to pay for that? My dog and all of her littermates developed parvo as puppies. Two of the pups died, even after over $2000 was spent to keep them alive (half the price any other vet would have charged -- my vet is awesome). My dog's niece fell down the stairs at 5 weeks old and broke her back. The tests, x-rays, treatments, etc cost into the hundreds, and the pup still died. Anything can go wrong, and all of this needs to be taken into account. I think the #1 reason most mothers do not want their children to have pets is that in the end, they will end up paying for something.

Also, breed. Perhaps there is a breed conflict. If I lived under my mother's roof and asked to get a pit bull, I would be sorely turned down. Her own ignorance, yes, but it's her decision in the end and nothing I could do would change her mind. Perhaps the breed you chose is too big, too hairy, too noisy, too drooly, too aggressive, etc for your mother. I don't know what breed you chose but perhaps a smaller less hairy dog may make her more willing. What is the breed you are considering? Remember that the breed can be a huge thing. If you don't have a 6 foot fence, don't get a husky -- if you don't have tolerance for barking, don't get a sheltie, etc.

At whatever point you do get a puppy, please make sure you've done your research as to where. Going to a shelter/rescue or a reputable breeder are the best choices. Research the differences between a reputable breeder, backyard breeder, and a puppy mill, and never buy your puppy from a pet store or broker.

Hope this helps. Welcome to PT.

[Sophist]

If you are almost 18, maybe you should start working on moving out and trying to arrange a budget, steady income, etc. Find out of you can really do the responsible adult thing and still have the time and energy for a dog. When you are just getting started in college, it may not be the best time to be adding a dog to the mix, ESPECIALLY a puppy.

Sorry, but if your mom has held out for nearly two decades, I don't think there is any magic wand we can wave.

Good luck with college and all the changes you will be making. I hope that one day, as soon as you are ready, you find the perfect dog for you.

[coco-bean]

I couldnt agree more with all that was said.
The only advice i can give other then what was already said is...ask your mom why? find out her reasons and maybe you two can come up with a comprimise! maybe she's allergic to fur or maybe she had a bad experience. "because i said so" really isnt a reason but if thats what she says then there really isnt much to do, but find a way to comprimise and maybe in the end you two can pick out the perfect dog together. Puppies are alot of work...i have 3.
especially right now is hard for me, my youngest has something wrong and the vet cant figure it out, there's 2 vets working my case and they may be sending me to a specialist if the final test come back negative tomorrow. There's alot of unexpected things that happen, im sure you've ruled out alot of things but unless you've had prior experience with vets im sure the average first timer doesnt know how much vet bills can really add up.
Im at the vet @ LEAST 4 times a month, im lucky if i get down to 2 or 3 times a month. Very pricy
best of luck, let us know what happens!!

[Freedom]

I couldnt agree more with all that was said.
The only advice i can give other then what was already said is...ask your mom why? find out her reasons and maybe you two can come up with a compromise! best of luck, let us know what happens!!

As I was reading, I also was wondering what the reasoning is. By learning why she has made this decision, it will help you - NOT is finding a work around necessarily, but learning what things she values, and that will help YOU make all sorts of decisions later on.

Meanwhile, please feel free to enjoy OUR pets! And maybe you can volunteer somewhere and walk dogs - at the vet's? So you get some one on one time with dogs. If you are at the vet's, then the dogs are healing and eventually going home. Where as, at a shelter, sometimes it ishard to say good by when they are at the end of their stay.

[Love That Collie]

Yes, find out her reasons, if you already don't know.
And I can speak from experience of being a mother for nearly 26 years,
"because I said so" IS a valid reason in "mom talk" and actually you live under your mothers roof and when you live under your own roof you can make those decisions for yourself. Your mother knows you better than we do, she has reasons behind it I suspect. And some people just are not "pet" people or even "dog people".

[pessimisaurus]

1st off I will say I agree 100% with everything everyone has already said- bottom line, its your moms house, she makes the rules. and if your mom has already been so relucant for so long, getting a dog with you yourself are not financially stable or independent is a horrible idea IMO. what if you are in a dorm and cant take the dog? what happens if you cant find/afford an apt that takes dogs? who will care for the dog when you are working & going to school full time? etc etc etc If you are not financially stable/independent yet, I would not recommend getting a dog (or any pet) unless you have a back up plan in the event you cannot care for it for any length of time- will your mom be willing to fully care for the dog for any length of time if/when you cannot?

but, I feel your pain! I grew up the exact same way. my parents (my mom especially) are not animal people at all, and even though Im the biggest dog lover I know, and have been since I was at least 9, I was never allowed to have a dog for all the reasons mentioned above. sure, you may mean well, and may have almost everything thought out, but the reality is its not your choice unfortunately. believe me I know it sucks! I didnt get my 1st dog until I was 19, and moved out 4 months later. then got my 2nd when I was 20, and now my 3rd now that Im 22 and in a house! Im also working as a dog trainer, and board dogs in my home all the time (currently I have 5 dogs in my house, on top of my own 3!) Ive worked as a vet assistant for almost 4 yrs, and volunteered at the humane society exercising and training the dogs for 2 years when I was 19. I like to think Im making up for the 1st 19 yrs of my life!

if I can recommend anything its to volunteer at a local shelter working with the dogs. that really changed my life. it gave me a ton of hands on experience with all kinds of dogs, and it helped me learn what I wanted in a dog. its also a great feeling to help a non profit and make a difference in the lives of homeless dogs. or you can see if there are any dog training facilities that take volunteers. doing that taught me a ton too, and its a lot of fun.

you will get a dog one day when the time is right! good luck

[Pawsitive Thinking]

My daughter (also 17) nagged us endlessly to get a dog - my husband was in favour but I was against the idea, not because I don't love dogs but because I do! I knew that our lifestyle at the time wasn't condusive to owning a dog and that for her the novelty would soon wear off when the dog got in the way of her social life..........

Unlike your Mom, I relented and they got Tobey - cue instant change to my routine as I was the only one able to take time out of work to walk him when everyone else was "too busy". Don't get me wrong, I adore that little dog, so much so that we got Archie to keep him company and I wouldn't be without either of them.

Last night Katie walked them with me and spent the entire time moaning about how awful it is having dogs and had she known how much work was involved she would never have asked for one (laughable in itself as she very rarely does anything with them!). She hates the barking when people come round, the jumping up at her friends, some times she has to curtail her plans if my hubby and I are away at football because I insist that Tobey and Archie are not left home alone all day and generally life was easier (for her) without them..................

What I would say to you is please, please, please give it some serious thought - you take on any dog and it is a lifelong responsibility. You are at the age when the last thing you want is to have to be tied to a routine and that is exactly what will happen.

As much as I love my boys a small part of me wishes I had been like your Mom and stood my ground.......but then again, I always wanted a dog when I was your age but had to wait until I was in my own home and considerably older before I got my wish

P.S. I was going to post this in general as a rant because I was so cross with her yesterday but the minute I saw this thread I saw a way of putting it to a better use