The first friend you mentioned has rarely been supportive for you...so why would she be now?

As I have said tongue-in-cheek before, there's nothing wrong with being a doormat, but you have the draw the line at wall-to-wall carpeting.

Right now, YOUR needs come first.

I am so sorry for the spot you are in, and for the friend and baby you lost...would the doctor who looked after you when you miscarried be able to recommend some counselling for you and your husband? If s/he didn't mention it, I am surprised. That is a horrid loss to go through. Even if John won't go, go for your own benefit. It doesn't have to be for long.

Again - sorry about the sayings, but this one came to mind: When God closes a door, he opens another - but it's hell in the hallway.

If you can think of this as your "hell in the hallway", you can have real hope that it will pass. Good and bad all mixed up. Life is weird.

HUGS!!!! and prayers to you.