What is wrong with me?

[kimlovescats]

You definitely have described depression! I have Major Depressive Illness and also Bi-Polar II Disorder. Medication can be a lifesaver! Get to a doctor, get your thyroid checked, and get on some medicine! ALSO, stay in touch with all of your friends here on PT!

HUGS,
Kim

[JenBKR]

Oh Michelle ((((hugs)))) I had no idea you felt that way. I have been there too, like many others here, and it's a miserable feeling. I would also recommend talking to your doctor about this, and probably get on an antidepressant. It could even be that the move to Italy triggered your depression, or maybe you feel that you don't know enough of the language to communicate to people on a daily basis, so you feel isolated. Not that I'm saying that moving to Italy was bad for you, just different, and sometimes that's all it takes. I have been battling depression since I was about 17, and it has always been ups and downs for me. I now know that I will always be on an anti depressant of some sort, and I'm ok with that fact. I don't like the person I am when I'm off the medication. ((((hugs)))) if you ever need to talk just PM me!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Sweetheart you are depressed - could be a chemical imbalance or something that can't be explained.

Don't struggle on without medical intervention - you'd have a broken limb fixed straight away!!!

Good luck from someone else who knows..........

[Marigold2]

I am so sorry to hear that you have been depressed. I really knew nothing about this disease until a family member was treated for it. It was very very difficult for everyone in our family. I have never been depressed so at first it was hard for me to relate, but I learned. It is a chemical inbalance that is easily treated with the right meds and the right Dr. The trick is to get treatment in the beginning and not wait till it gets so bad that it takes over your life. When this family member started on meds the difference was like night and day. This is not something that you can treat yourself. If you had cancer or kidney failure all the love and good advice you get can only go so far. What you need is the right medicine and the right Dr. I wish you all the best of luck. Know that it will get better, you will once again be happy and your life will be good. Oh and yes, birth control pills can make depression worst. But usually only for the first couple of weeks although everyone is different.

[Anita Cholaine]

Michelle, I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I can't really help much, but you've gotten great advice on this thread.
((((HUGS)))) Please now there's someone in Argentina thinking about you now (and actually all PT is here for you )

Natali

[cassiesmom]

You've gotten some great advice. I am sorry I don't have much to add to that advice. However, I wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you. I have been in and out of depression for quite some time but have never done anything about it - my dogs have helped me a lot. Don't know what I'd do without them.


Anyhow, I will keep you in my thoughts.

Kay

Same here - thinking and praying!
My cat has helped me enormously - not sure what I would have done without her.
How is the weather in Italy this time of year, can you get outdoors and get some sunshine? I have had an ongoing depression and it definitely gets worse with shorter daylight hours. It's a bright, sunny day in Chicago today even though freezing cold. On days like this I try to go out in the natural light for a bit and it does seem to help.

(((hug))), elyse

[wolflady]

I'm so glad that you're going to look into this. That is the first big step to feeling better. Also, what you said about being contageous isn't entirely false. Living with/being around other people with depression or bi-polar conditions can affect you and your mood.
I have a very dear friend who has pretty severe depression, and while she was living with one girl ,who was also very depressed, and another who was bi-polar, it really had a negative affect on her already depressive condition. The environment was horrible, and none of them even knew about it. Once my friend moved out...she felt so much happier. Wierd, huh?

Another thing you can do to help elevate your mood is St. John's Wort. I have actually been off my medication for some time now (I really need to go back on since I've been really down since the seperation), but I've been taking the St. John's Wort, which actually has been helping.

If you ever need anything, I'm just a PM away.

**hugs**

[kittycats_delight]

wow...you guys are so sweet and caring and compassionate. I thank you all so much. I will be going to the doctor on Monday to see what we can find out. I will be asking for a thyroid test and also trying the vitamin b. I will also ask what she thinks about anti depressants for me. I think she will most likely want to wait for the thyroid results before prescribing anti-depressants though. But we will see.

You know I have been thinking about it and I think being in this house with my severely depressive brother in law and eternal complaining father in law has a bit to do with things. Also maybe the fact that we are solely relying on Guido's income doesn't help either. My father in law in a compulsive spender and he brings home a huge sum of money but cannot make it to the end of the month and is always complaining and driving everyone else nuts about money. He brings home about 2500 euro a month and only pays the rent which is less than 500.

My brother in law is disgusting. He doesn't wash himself and is sat in front of the playstation almost continually while he is in the house. He does nothing and pays for nothing. If he isn't in front of the tv or playstation he is working. I really dislike him and he even drives my husband nuts too. He stinks and he is a know it all but really he is a know nothing at all. You cannot tell him anything. He is just so disrespectful. If you are sleeping it doesn't matter to him he will make the most noise possible the same as the father in law. At 5 in the morning they actually stand outside our closed bedroom door and have a roaring conversation. But if he is sleeping the entire world must stop. We are not even suppose to flush the toilet in case it wakes him. You know my answer to that. 'f u buddy' He is the center of the universe and everyone is suppose to bend to his wishes and needs.

Can you tell he makes me angry. Sorry I guess I just need to get it out.

The other thing is Guido being our only bread winner. Guido makes decent money but we pay for everything. If we want to eat we have to buy ALL the groceries even though there are 4 adults here not just Guido and me. We pay all the bills except the rent. Daddy pays the rent and brother pays nothing. And besides that we have our car payment and insurance. I know these are every day things but when I see brother in law and father in law spending freely and us putting all the money into the house it is very frustrating. And as long as we are doing this and I am not emplyed we will not be able to get out of this place. I guess I feel trapped in this house with these rude, arrogant, disrespectful A-holes.

Wow...it feels good getting all this out. I need to get a job but the language is a problem. I cannot work inside the american base as I am not an italian citizen. I think I am just going to have to hit the job agencies and find some crappy job to get us enough money to get our own place. *SIGH*


Ok vent finished. I apologize for blasting away but I think I really needed to get some of this stuff off my chest. Thanks you guys.


Oh yeah cassiesmom the weather is fine here warm most days and usually sunny. I think I will take the advise of you and a few others and get my butt out for a walk to get away from the house a little.

Thanks again everyone

((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Michelle

[Felicia's Mom]

I hope you feel better soon. I have no more advice for you. I've been pretty depressed lately myself.

[Vela]

Well goodness just from hearing that I have no wonder why you feel depressed! You don't have to feel bad about getting it out, you have to get it out somewhere and here you can do it without fear or repercussions at home hehe. You will feel better too once you get some sort of a job and can see a light at the end of the tunnel, as far as getting out of that house. That would be upsetting for anyone, I don't think I could deal well with it either!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Michelle, I had no idea that you have been feeling this way. If I were in your shoes, I think that I'd be feeling depressed and unhappy too. I hope that things will start getting better for you. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Oh dear Michelle, I had no idea either you were feeling so badly....
I've been through a severe depression like yours 8 years ago. I am glad you agreed to see a doctor, because it is very hard or almost impossible to get better without medication. I was on Prozac for almost a year; it was tough, but it worked!! Don't worry if the meds don't seem to work and even if it gets a bit worse; it is normal, the meds only start helping after 2 or 3 weeks. Don't give up, we are all here to pull you through, sweety!!

Tons of gentle hugs !!!!

[cassiesmom]

what you said about being contageous isn't entirely false. Living with/being around other people with depression or bi-polar conditions can affect you and your mood.

**hugs**

hear, hear ... I know I am hard to be around when my depression is really bad so I try not to be a burden to my family and friends at those times... hope you are having a good day today!

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm sorry to hear about this Michelle. After reading what you're currently living with, no wonder you're depressed!!! It sounds like you're a prisoner in your own home and you're forced to tolerate people that are toxic to your life. You are probably having feelings of hopelessness due to the fact that you are enduring such garbage. Nobody wants to live like that. It sounds like a case of full blown anger, disgust, and an overwhelming feeling of the need for revenge(all normal reactions in this situation).

My heart breaks for you. I hope you can get some help soon and find a way to be rid of these people that are controlling your life. You certainly don't deserve it. I'm glad you got it off your chest. That's the first big step to a possible solution!! Good luck in getting this resolved asap. Please keep us updated.

[Catty1]

Maybe your doc can give you meds to slip into your in-laws' drinks?

Be sure to tell your doctor about the situation you live with...docs sometimes have resources we don't know about. Tell her about the bills and job situation.

HUGS!