Brand new JOKES Thread!

[DrKym]

Rofl GGirl! and yes karlyb I love that one too! every time i get it in email I giggle!

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

great jokes everybody!! the one about showering like a woman and man had me laughing so hard!!

[GreyhoundGirl]

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

~~~~

( Sorta a strange one)

~~~~

A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."

The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"

The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."

~~~~

A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.

"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.

[xcolbi]

In this joke you sort of have to know the titles of a couple Britney Spears songs, but it's still funny if you don't know.


One day, Britney Spears walks into a bar. She orders a drink and sits down at a table. Suddenly, she farts.

Bartender: Who farted?!
Britney: Oops, I did it again!

The next day, Britney walks into the same bar. She orders a drink and sits down at a table. She farts again.

Bartender: Who farted?!?!
Britney: Stronger than yesterday!

[GreyhoundGirl]

As for the oops I did it again. Did you know there was a song made mocking her song called "ooops I farted again" It's HILARIOUS!!! By one of my favourite singers (wierd taste ya know...) Wierd Al Yandovic. Look it up!!!

there are 2 songs by him mocking her

"ooops I farted again" and "Bitchney Spears"

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

The young man said to his sweetheart,

"We're going to have a great time tonight.
I have three theater tickets."

The young girl said,
"Why do we need three tickets?"

"They're for your father, mother, and kid sister!"

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

A man enters the doc's office.

"Okay, tell me why you are here!"
"Okay! Every morning I pee at 7 AM, and then I do my "big business" at 7.15 sharp!"
"So, what is your problem then???"
"I only get up at 7.30 PM doc!!"