There was a farmer who had a beautiful show horse, its most striking feature being its bright blue eyes. It was always in demand for stud service, the horse made the farmer a small fortune. However, one day, about 2 days before the most prestigious show of the year, where his horse would be competing against the creme-de-la-creme, the horse's beautiful blue eyes went crossed. So the farmer called up his nearest veterinarian, who was located over 2 hours away. He says "my horse's eyes are crossed, and theres a major show in a couple days," so the vet comes down to the farmer's ranch. The vet says "grab me a hose, cut it to about a 4 foot length," so the guy brings over about 4 foot of hose. The farmer shoves 2 foot of the hose up the horses arse, and blows as hard as he can. The horses eyes immediately go straight. The vet charges the farmer $400 for the trip. So, about 4 months later, the horses eyes cross again. The farmer goes to his shed, grabs a length of hose, shoves it in the horse, and blows like a tuba player. Nothing. So, he calls his two very dumb but strong farmhands over. The first one blows as hard as he can in the pipe, the horses eyes move a little, then go right back crossed. Next, the second, and even stronger farmhand walks over, grabs the hose, pulls it out of the horses butt, reverses it and shoves it back in. Then, he starts blowing on it as hard as he can. The farmer and the hand are just about puking. The farmer finally says "dude, what the heck are you doing?" and the farmhand replies "well, you think I want YOUR germs?"
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(love that one)
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