Awwwww..... I can feel your pain.... .I am so sorry for your loss!!

Please, PLEASE, don't blame yourself. I did this too though when my Sydney passed away while I was on vacation, having fun... . But it is so true what the others say: you are not to blame! Ying passed to the bridge because he was called to go there, to be painfree
Hugs to you and little Yang