Oh, god Mellissa. I am soooo sooooo sorry. It is so NOT your fault. I wish I knew the right things to say to you. All I can do is tell you that Ying is looking down on you and loves you dearly. You will meet again someday. Love them while you have them, that is all you can do. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We are here for you, remember that.

Take it easy.