Struggling

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I'm feeling better about this (and I'm regaining my eyesight, which is always a plus, lol) and I feel a little more talking will get me back on track.

As far as talking to someone, I actually did talk to my school counselor a few days ago. I didn't plan on it happening, I just went in there for a quick credit check and it ended up where I told her a shortened version of my whole life story, and to be completely honest, I came out of her office smiling. I felt sooo refreshed to tell someone what I was feeling... I was very happt the rest of the day.

I'm going to do some online research and see what I can find for counselors in my area. After talking to my school counselor I realize that it's okay to talk about this stuff and it actually really helps, despite what I thought before.

I would like to sincerely thank those of you that have posted. Everytime I've posted some rant you all have pushed me to see someone to talk, and i sort of put it off because I felt like I didn't need it. But talking has helped... it's sometimes even better to tell it to someone who doesn't have a biased opinion or already know what's going on.

The thing with Butch and I... it's hard to explain. Like I said, he's like a dad to me and he's just around if I ever need someone to talk to. Like the party thing I mentioned earlier, he gave me some good advice that pushed me towards not going to the party. He's just watching out for me. I understand that he IS significantly older than me, but I've always been an "age is just a number" person. It wouldn't matter if he was 22 or 82-- if I am attracted to a person's personality, I'm not afraid to talk. I was a VERY shy kid and I still am pretty shy, and I have always found myself connecting with the people older than me (as on here, PT) because they just seem soo much more mature than a lot of kids in my generation. I prefer maturity over humility. I've just always been more drawn to adults than kids my age. *shrugs* Soo, Butch and I? Don't worry about it. We joke and have fun. I work for him so he can go out and do stuff on his own. 9 hours a day at a snowcone stand everyday of the week gets very old very fast.

I'm a big girl. I know what I'm getting myself into and what I need to stay out of. Its alll gooddd. Thank you very much for the concern, though. I appreciate it.

[popcornbird]

I don't understand. I'm confused by your reaction to the posts of concerned PT'ers. I don't understand why you are apologizing to PT'ers. Did you take an oath, and break it? Are we supposed to control your life? Are we your parents? Why ever would you think you need to OBEY us. We don't have any authority over you. We're not your parents. We're not related to you. We haven't ever met you. We're just...people from different parts of the world, who's posts you see on the internet. Sure, people on PT have developed a bond with each other, but still...we're still just people on the internet, who have no authority over you, who don't know you in person. My point? I feel you need help and advice from someone who can always be there for you. Coming to people who happen to be thousands of miles away would not be that beneficial.

As to your relationship with Butch...personally, it freaks me out. It scares me to see an 18 year old girl openly stating she's 'in love' with a 45 year old MARRIED man...and that this man comes and tells you about his problems, as if you are his mama. I don't know who he is, and thus, won't say anything about him, but...in a father/daughter relationship...the father and daughter may love each other, but they are not IN love. There's a difference. It just frightens me. Why is he telling you about his marital problems? You're just a young girl compared to him. What is he trying to imply?

And...about the pictures...well...if you think its a generation or age thing, its not. I'm no more than 2 or 3 years older than you. Same generation...close in age...and I would never think of something like that as acceptable. Girl...do you realize how many sex crimes are happening to girls on MySpace? Its been on the news a LOT lately...and by posting such pictures, you are opening yourself up to predators. I don't wish to hurt your feelings or put you down in any way, but you need to realize how dangerous this is. I know you and your mom don't have a very good relationship, but where is your dad? If I were in your dad's shoes, I would NEVER, by any means, let my teenager daughter get SO close to an older man like that, in which she can't let go of the feelings that came with his hugs, etc. I only feel that way about my husband's hugs, and that's what scares me. Someone who is JUST a friend...his hugs shouldn't feel like that to you. Only the hugs of someone that a person's deeply in love can make a girl feel like that. It just scares me. I hope I'm wrong. Take care of yourself, and be aware of your surroundings...AND...remember...you are your own person. We don't need any apologies for what you do in YOUR life. We're not your parents, and have no authority over you. When we respond, it is just because we're worried and concerned about what such actions can lead to.

[trayi52]

Very well put, Poppy. Megan, this man has no business telling you about his sex life at all, or about his crummy marriage. Sounds like he is expecting more from you.

Please do be careful. You are so young, and he is so much older than you. Do watch they way you dress, I did not see the pictures, so I don't know.

I still respect you as much as ever, Megan, and care about you as much.

Willie

[ramanth]

Very well put, Staci, Vela, and Poppy.

When I was your age, I treated my boss like a trusted confidant (work, life in general, but never subjects as private as sex). However, we never hugged, and he never unloaded his problems onto me. It just wouldn't be right. He was a listening ear, nothing more. He'd give his advice and opinion to the best of his ability, and when it got to the point that he couldn't help, he recommended a councelor and I got the help I needed.

My situation was never like yours admittedly, but I believe everyone should have a confidant, professional or otherwise. But the role of a confidant is to just listen and give advice.

To me it's as if Butch is taking advantage of the situation. He's sharing stuff that he shouldn't. He should probably see a councelor himself. And like others have stated, it really gives the appearance that he expects something. I scratch your back, you scratch mine sort of mentality.

I always felt I could openly talk to my friends parents too, but if they started talking about sex and marital problems, I'd be little more than freaked out.

Just be safe....

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think a lot of you think he is talking to me about his sex life or sex in general. It's not like that, AT ALL.

I don't know. It's hard to explain to people what it's like. I swear to you all it is a friend, father-daughter relationship. Nothing more. He think I'm mature. I work for him. I'm his best friend's daughter. He talks to me about his problems because he knows I'll listen. That's all I'm here for, for him to vent. It's okay, I promise. Can we just not talk about this part anymore?

My mom actually spoke to me today. She acts like everything is fine, whatever. I'm going to sit down with her and have a talk. Soon.

Thanks for the good thoughts everyone. Please don't worry about the Butch situation anymore. I know what I'm doing. I would never let a married man get that close or let him do stuff like that. Trust me, okay?

[Sevaede]

I keep noticing references towards your life or "past"? I don't understand how that connects to this situation. Was there a similar situation?

Sorry, not trying to be mean. I am just a bit confuzzled.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

I'm unsure as to what you mean... references about my past?