D**n! I hate confrontation too! I'm so so bad at it and become an emotional wreck. Most of the time it's not even MY fault. I think the suggestions about writing things down is super advise. My bet, is that she'll be defensive, but sweet and come out smelling like a rose instead of a cesspool.

Kim, be firm but gentle. Let her show her true stripes. Be the dignified lady you are! I know you can do it! You've been through a lot lately and don't need this witch to upset you more.