MAJOR LES here guys. I've been home since around noon and have been tending to the kits and checking my emails. You have NO idea how much I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers. It's great to be home with my babies and be able to take a shower in a CLEAN bathroom AND have a phone to use anytime I want, not just in spurts!!! Not to mention the food - BLECK!!!!I'm having a Pepe's pizza tonight. *salivates*
My meltdown was pretty severe and even scared me, and I don't scare easily. My doctors have diagnosed me with severe clinical depression, anxiety and ADD (attention deficit disorder). They've put me on Celexa for my depression and Quetiapine for anxiety and sleep. I asked my therapist if the symptoms of ADD and depression are related to me not being able to hold down a job and she confirmed it. So, that means that, contrary to my brother's accusations that I am incompetent and a screw up, my losing the jobs was due to my illness. With the help of an administrator from the hospital, I have filed for Title 19, which will help me with medical benefits. Monday I'll find out how to file for SSD (Social Security Disability). I am worried about where I'm going to go once Mark moves to Maine. But I have to take one day at a time, baby steps.
I'll be starting outpatient therapy on Monday. I should've done this long ago. Taking meds without the benefit of counseling was a mistake for me. I want my life back. I'm also going back to AA meetings. It's cheap therapy and also much needed.
From the core of my soul, I want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. You have no idea how much it means to me to have such a wonderful group of friends during such troubling times.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
12/02
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