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Thread: Kids who don't have responsibilities...

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    British Columbia,Canada
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    5,739
    I totally agree with you Kay.
    I'm of working age but i can't get a job, simply because i'm a canadian citizen living in the U.S. If i could get a job,i would love to work. Right now my job at home is the yard. I mow it weekly and my parents give my my allowance just to do it. I help clean the house, do dishes, take care of the dogs and Jerry, and i help out with everything that i can.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Canada
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    2,424
    Kay,

    This is a very relevant topic of discussion and I think you make your point - very well. I respect and admire you, who at your age, have matured and have solid values (a tribute to your parents and the way they brought you up ).

    I grew up in a modest home and both my parents worked hard to make it a good home for my brother and I. We had what we needed and earned what we wanted. The difference is to understand and respect that no one owes you anything.

    I have held a job since I was old enough to work - 16. I worked my way through university and bought my own car, financed my own trip to Europe at the age of 18, etc. My husband and I reside in an affluent neighbourhood and have a beautiful home today. We have worked together for many years to acquire this. My point: we both grew up with the right values and sense of responsibility that was endowed upon us by our parents. That is the greatest gift one can give a child - a sense of self worth and capability. I think Glacier has described this extremely well in her post - thank you Tamara.

    Your frustration with your peers is understandable but shouldn't cloud your own judgement in any way. If there is anything that you can do to influence them into helping themselves by setting an example, all credit to you. Just always remember you are not responsible for another's shortcomings and don't let their problems get you down. You've got the formula girl and you are doing so well. You will always be successful because you know the difference.

    Keep on keeping on and go hug your Mom and Dad for helping you to be the wonderful person you are

    Betty
    Yours in Whiskers

    I'm not young enough to know everything.

    "The Best Mirror is an Old Friend"

    “The secret of what is small is the secret of clear-sightedness; the guarding of what is soft and tender is the secret of strength.”

    • Lao Tzu

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,243
    I personally don't know anyone who doesn't have to do anything and then complains...maybe it's a Florida thing. In Iowa, where I spent most of my life, hard work is definately valued and I've never been rich enough to KNOW anyone like that.

    I think most people are saying there should be a happy medium, and I agree. My father was extremely strict and my brother and I grew up pretty unhappy living with him. I think parents need expectations for their children, but not perfection. Until my parents divorced, I grew up the OPPOSITE way and I have to say it was just as bad.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    3,182
    Oh I know nobody said those words explicitly but many posters coupled "complain" and "kids without resonsibilities" together so I just took it from there I do get your point, though, Kay, and my second cousin is actually one of these moochers. Personally, I think it all lies with the parent. Teach them morals and thou shalt not mooch (haha). And thanks, caseysmom

    Children need guidance, even when they're 18 years old and legal. They need to learn that we don't live in a give-nothing-receive-everything society. They need guidance to show them that in order to receive, you must give. And oftentimes, you'll need to give a whole lot before you receive something back. I see a lot of young toddlers who don't understand this and they grow into young adults who still can't comprehend this simple "rule".

    NILIF, anybody?


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Belgium, near Ghent
    Posts
    12,946
    I'd like to react too. I am a parent of two kids, 17 and 21.
    In my opinion, it is the parents duty to learn their kids about responsabilities in life! My husband ears good money, so in fact it would be easy to pamper our kids and let them have anything they want!
    BUT, Not in our household!! Jo wanted a car? He had to save for it and pay for his insurance! Indra's MP3 was broken? She bought one with her saved pocketmoney! We also don't give them much pocketmoney; when I hear how much some kids get...... !!
    My son is now 21 and is working already. He pays for everything concerning his car, and most of his clothes! It is only the food he doesn't have to pay for.
    Our daughter is 17, and still studying. She has a weekendjob now, waitressing on sundays; she uses some of her money for clothes or cd's, but most of it go to her savings account.
    I don't know if we are good parents, but at least our kids know they get nothing just like that, and also that they cannot take anything for granted
    I miss you enormously Sydney, Maya, Inka & Zazou Be happy there at the Rainbow Bridge

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    5,308
    *Chuckles* I guess I'm pretty "spoiled" in some senses....I don't live at home, yet my parents pay me enough money each month to live in my apartment, pay my bills, and have a little left over. They also pay some of my bills for me (car insurance, cell phone) and pay for school. I'd never complain about anything I have, I am so lucky right now. This is how it will be until I graduate (in 2 years)

    I know what you mean though....one girl I know whined when her parents bought her a brand-new SUV, because it was the wrong color! My own sister started griping when she had to pay for her own gas, nevemind that my parents spent $4k on a car for her to drive. It makes me so ANRGY. She's so ungrateful sometimes...

    Thank you Wolf_Q!

  7. #7
    CathyBogart Today 05:08 AM Said:
    I know what you mean though....one girl I know whined when her parents bought her a brand-new SUV, because it was the wrong color!
    Blue_Frog Yesterday 04:47 PM Said:
    I remember 2 girls at my highschool talking (i was walking behind them), and hearing one complaining that daddy bought her the wrong coloured porsche for her birthday.

    *lol* -- Seriously, what is it with people complaining about being given a car of the wrong colour! If someone handed me the keys to a brand-spanking new vechicle, the LAST thing i'd ever do is complain! I loved my old clunker Sunfire that I bought myself, up until the time it got crushed between transport trucks on the 401 one morning on the way to work. I miss that car!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    1,452
    I'm 17, don't have a job, and my parents buy what i need (not what i want)
    I'm not able to get a job because my mom has seizures and we only have one car which they need in case of emergencies with her. Dad could drive me except we live about 50 miles from anything and he doesn't have the money to take me back and forth everyday. But besides that i think that if you have a car and enough time to go shopping everyday with your parents money and buy everything you want then you have enough time to go out and get a job and earn it. It always feels better when you earn something you get instead of just getting it handed over to you. I guess i kind of earn what i get anyway because i take care of the animals (which is a big job with so many) and my nephew(who is 2 months old). My parents aren't able to do that on a regular bases so they need me for that. I think all the teens should appreciate what they have instead of complaining about everything they don't.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Up North. Where all your troubles freeze and fall off.
    Posts
    3,130
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue_Frog
    *lol* -- Seriously, what is it with people complaining about being given a car of the wrong colour! If someone handed me the keys to a brand-spanking new vechicle, the LAST thing i'd ever do is complain! I loved my old clunker Sunfire that I bought myself, up until the time it got crushed between transport trucks on the 401 one morning on the way to work. I miss that car!
    Yikes, I take it you were OK? The 401 scares me, in the last 2 or 3 months many people I know have been hurt there, and some perished . Four people, I think, that I know personally, in 3 months !

    Sorry to get off-topic.

    I think I am in a similar boat to giselle. All my parents make me do is keep a 90+ average, keep my room clean, and take carn of Jen. School is of highest priority.

    Maybe I am spoiled. I do get a lot of things from my parents and I don't have a job.

    I, too, find it irking when teens are so... spoiled... Ungrateful. Really, should kick em out on the street sometimes, show em how " tough " life can really be.
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