I think the saddest thing is how negligent society is about family life these days, and individual responsibilities. Everyone is concerned about the other person doing the same thing that they do, but they fail to realize that every individual, or every family is in a different situation, and based on the situation, different family members have to take different responsibilities. Everyone doesn't have to do that same thing, or have the same duties. Financial responsibility is only one type of responsibility, but there are so many other responsibilities to take on in life.

We go through different phases in life, and through each phase, we have different responsibilities. A baby wouldn't have any responsibilities as an infant/toddler...besides bringing joy to his/her parents... As a child gets older, its the responsibility of the parents to raise him/her properly, giving him/her certain responsibilities as he/she gets older. For example, parents should encourage young children to 'pick up their toys' after playing, or to 'wash their hands' after eating. Older children should be taught to help with chores such as unloading the dishwasher, or helping with the lawn mowing. Kids learn responsibilities slowly, and from the very beginning, parents should teach them their responsibilities, so that they can grow up to be responsible adults. Teens should have the responsibility of doing their own laundry, cleaning their room every morning, helping in the kitchen, helping with younger siblings if they have any, caring for pets, shopping, etc. A father could never have the responsibility of carrying a child in the womb, or bearing a child, or nursing a child. That is a responsibility on mothers, only, and something that a man could never do. In my eyes, when a family works hand and hand, and each member takes care of his/her responsibilities, everyone has a very smoothe, happy, and loving family life.

I'm not one who thinks that at 18, kids should be kicked out of the house and left on their own. It all depends on the family's situation, and the kid's situation. If the parents are not well-to-do, then by all means should the young adults in the family be a financial help. If the parents can't afford for the kids' education, then the kids should definitely work and provide for themselves. If, however, the parents are very rich, and they're throwing their kid out on his/her own when the kid is earning only $7 or $8 an hour, that, in my eyes, just makes the parents look miserly and cruel. I live in a region where apartment rents are very, very expensive. My husband and I pay $1470 a month for our one bedroom apartment. Sure you can get cheaper housing in cheaper locations, but those locations usually have a high crime rating, and the neighborhoods are not very pleasant to live in. How fair is it for parents to be rich, living in a nice big house, while their kid is forced to suffer, living paycheck-paycheck, and only earning enough rent for shelter, with no savings for anything else. Though the kid may be an adult, he/she is STILL 'their' kid. Its not easy to live off of a restaurant/supermarket job, especially in my area...and hardly any 18 year old can earn enough to have a decent living around here. You can get a decent job after completing your college education, that pays enough to live a decent life, but a person would have to be at least 22 or 23, normally, to afford that around here. I would live with my parents over living with a roommate anyday. Why is it wrong for a parent to buy things for their kids if they are wealthy, and their kid doesn't earn enough yet? Isn't it our responsibility to help and provide for our parents when they are old and not earning enough anymore? Shouldn't kids be responsible for their parents in their old age? Its all about family life and not being selfish. Kids should be taught to be responsible, but if they don't earn enough to live a decent life, and the parents do, then the parents should help them.

I also feel that everyone has different responsibilites. If the man of the house is working and the woman isn't, that doesn't mean the woman is irresponsible. The man is taking care of his responsibilities, and the woman is taking care of her's. If a woman is caring for her house, cooking, cleaning, caring for her children, caring for her pets, keeping things clean, doing the laundry...that in itself is a fulltime job. Would the woman be considered irresponsible just because she isn't working outside the house? It should not be that way. My husband provides for me financially, but I provide for him in other ways. He does things I don't normally do, but I do things he doesn't normally do. Its fair and square.

My point is...just because someone doesn't work outside the house doesn't mean they don't take care of any responsibilities. In my opinion, all MEN should work outside of the house, should have enough of an education to support themselves and their families well, with no exceptions. Boys SHOULD be responsible by the age of 18-20. For girls, on the other hand, it depends. If the family needs money, or if they don't have enough to provide for her, she SHOULD work, and SHOULD help them. If the family is wealthy, girls can also have a lot of responsibilities at home to take care of, besides working outside.

I never paid rent to my parents while I lived with them. They paid for most of my stuff. Why? Well...I never needed to. They have their own house, with no mortgage or loans on it. Besides taxes, they don't need to pay anything for their own house anymore, so why would I have to pay them. I'm THEIR DAUGHTER. They have bought lots of things for me, but that is because God gave them the means to do so. I have had responsibilities in the house ever since I was a kid, and always took care of them. My parents never had to care for the garden. I always did that. They never had to do my laundry, or iron my clothes. I did that. There were times when they didn't have to cook, because I would help them in it. Before my marriage, my mom was telling me that she wonders if she still knows how to clean the house. I took care of that throughout my teen years. I had responsibilities, and just because I didn't do what my dad did *earning*, that doesn't mean he did what I did. We worked hand in hand as a family, with my dad and brother earning, and my mother and I taking care of other things. My parents raised us well and gave us the responsibilities and independance we would need as adults. I'm married now, and doing fine managing things on my own. My mom worked before we were born, but after having children, she devoted her life to raising us, teaching us, caring for us, and my dad provided for us all. I loved my life, and want to lead a similar life now, after marriage. My husband earns, but I take care of all of my responsibilities inside the house. I take care of the house, the pets, the laundry, the cleaning, the cooking...everything. On weekends, we do things together, and he helps me in the house, and I help him with things like washing the car, etc., but on weekdays, I do my thing and he does his thing. When I become a mother someday, God willingly, my husband will be providing, financially, for me and the kids. I won't be going out to work unless it is a necessity for me. That does not mean I'm not responsible, as an adult. I take care of what I need to take care of. I want to be a full-time mother when I have children, and stay at home to raise and nurture them my babies, without leaving them with a babysitter, or anyone else. If I work, I won't be able to be a full-time mom when I have kids, and devote my life to them and my husband. If I worked now, I would still have things to do at home, and wouldn't have the time and energy to spend with my husband when he comes home from work. When there is family stability, family love, and family unity, no one has to argue about these things. If someone's parents are wealthy and want to buy them a car, that's fine, and their choice. Everyone is going to get the provisions that are meant for them...nothing more, nothing less, and it doesn't matter who provides for them.

My mom gave both my husband and I a wonderful piece of advice on my wedding day, as we were leaving the reception hall together. She told us, "Always remember to be mindful of YOUR responsibilites, and focus on what YOU need to do. Don't whine about your rights not being fulfilled, but focus on your responsibilites, as individuals, and your responsibilites towards each other. This is the key to a happy married life."

I have taken my mom's advice seriously, and so far, so good. I take care of my responsibilites, and my husband takes care of his. I don't demand my rights from him, and he doesn't demand his rights from me. We just get them. If everyone takes care of their responsibilities, everyone's rights are automatically fulfilled, with no one complaining about the other person not doing what they need to do.

I do agree with you on being peeved with young adults who do not appreciate their parents who do things for them, or complain on every little thing...but as long as they're taking care of their household responsibilities, even if they're living under their parents' roof, it is fine. If they are not doing ANYTHING, and just sitting around, living off their parents' hard work without doing any hard work themselves, then yes, there is definitely a problem.

I think the main problem in today's society is the selfishness that everyone has, and the lack of family unity. Sadly, so many youngsters in today's world are selfish, and tend to forget how much their parents have done for them. So many parents are selfish, and forget how much they once loved their kids. So many husband and wives are selfish, and forget how much they should mean to each other. What makes a society are the families in it, and when the families are selfish, irresponsible, and unstable, the society is in for a downfall.

Just my 2...okay...10 cents.