Kids who don't have responsibilities...

[Kfamr]

And complain about how "tough" their parents are.


Sorry, if you don't have a job and don't pay your own way - you don't have it so "bad."

A majority of my peers dropped out of school, didn't get jobs, and continue to live under their parent's houses with NO responsibilities. Yet, a majority of them also have brand new cars, brand new clothes, top of the line electronics, everything their little hearts desire... their parents buy it! But their parents are SO horrible for making them come home at a certain time, SO horrible if they do not buy into the latest trend, SO horrible if they do not buy them whatever they want.

Now, I no longer go to school but I got a job the second I made this decision. I live with my parents, pay rent, and am expected to pay for whatever I want for myself and my dogs. Even before I had a steady salary I was expected to work for what I wanted.


WHY don't kids see how good they have it?
WHY don't parents make their children work for themselves?



I'm sorry this is a bit of a rant... I'm just so sick of my peers being so LAZY.

[caseysmom]

I don't know Kay I am going through this with my niece I just inherited when my brother passed away. I don't mind helping her during this rough time but there is not even a simple thank you its just expected.

My kids do that at 18 and the locks will be changed, I can guarantee you that.

[buttercup132]

I know what you mean my friends before they never had jobs and I did and I would always be jelouse that they got what they want and there parents would give them like $100 + to go shopping and I would have to pay with my own money. I dont mind having to do it unless my sister gets to go on a shopping spree or something then I dont understand why I cant get like 1 new sweater.
I dont get what having a job and paying for everything has to do with being home at a certain time though.
Sometimes parents do that because maybe thats how they were brought up or they had it really rough and they want to treat them "better"

[Husky_mom]

I know what you mean..........I cant´even start what i´m thinking.........urrgghh........they just don´t appreciate what they DO have.....

at least when I was younger and HAD to pay for my car (I got a car when i wa in university) and my "friends" got new models for free as a bday present (while in secondary/highschool).........now when i see them with the very same car and I got an improvement I realize my efforts paid off......

lucky those who works for their things as they will be rewarded BIG TIME......I really enjoy the satisfaction of getting thing with MY money provided by MY work, MY time and MY effort....... sure,we all hate bills but thats just a thing that comes with the package.........

when people don´t work for things and everything they desire is given to them just like that, when they go on their own they´ll learn the hard way there is no such thing as that, you gotta work for them......

[Argranade]

Im out of school right now...

My parents pay for my pets and clothes and food....

Good thing pigeons are very cheap and Im not a big shoper on cloths.

I plan on getting home schooled and getting a job at the pet store.

My mom does not want me to move out lol but of course I will..

[Blue_Frog]

Its just sad kind of -- no one is teaching these kids (the ones that are handed everything they want) the value of earning something for yourself. Everything is expendable, easy to throw away, and theres no respect or value placed on stuff.

From the time I was old enough to work, i had a job - retail, fast food, you name it. I earned money for my first Nintendo, my first car, etc. I valued the things I had because *I* earned them. My sister has often been given things without earning them, and doesn't seem to have much of a concept of money (dont get me wrong, i love my sister to pieces) - she doesn't place a value on anything, and is constantly throwing out or goodwilling clothes, or cutting holes in things for fashion, and stuff like that then having to mooch to get new things. Never quite understood her in that respect, except that she never had a job until she was in her 20s, so didn't learn to value the things she had by earning them.

Theres a lot of people out there, who are handed anything they want - clothes, a new car, a position at daddy's business. And they place no value on anything. And, once the 'rents aren't around anymore to help out, well ... are they going to have the life skills to help themselves? Maybe, or maybe not.

I remember 2 girls at my highschool talking (i was walking behind them), and hearing one complaining that daddy bought her the wrong coloured porsche for her birthday. I remember thinking "buhhh... what?". Pan forward a few years, and I ran into her working at the video store. Daddy had kicked her out, and she was driving an old beater - she'd drivin the porsche into the ground by not taking care of it. I just felt kind of sorry for her.

[MomToThree]

A girl I went to school with and now work with. She is a great friend of mine but her parents give her everything. This girl is almost 25 years old. I was teasing her one day telling her that when she moves out she won't know how to do anything. So I started asking her if she knew how to do laundry, cook, so on a so forth. To all of my questions she told me no. Her parents do it all for her. I just thought it was sad. She only worked to have some play money when her parents didn't give her enough money.


When I was 16 I started working. I worked 4 jobs one summer. I would go to my friends house every night and work for her parents. I would come home in the morning and go to work as a dish washer, I would leave that job and go to my friends store and work, then I would go to my other friends work and help out. By the end of that summer I made a good amount of money that summer. Most of it I gave to my parents while my mom was dealing with cancer. The rest I saved. I felt good at the end of the summer when I went shopping for my own school clothes and got a perm, got my own dress for a dance.

[mugsy]

As a teacher, I can say that it is perfectly obvious that many parents today make their children take no responsibility for their actions because THEY don't. The old saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" fits the vast majority of my kids. The kids who are on free lunch and breakfast and pay nothing for books etc, come walking into school with brand new $250 shoes and designer clothes...what's that about?

[popcornbird]

I think the saddest thing is how negligent society is about family life these days, and individual responsibilities. Everyone is concerned about the other person doing the same thing that they do, but they fail to realize that every individual, or every family is in a different situation, and based on the situation, different family members have to take different responsibilities. Everyone doesn't have to do that same thing, or have the same duties. Financial responsibility is only one type of responsibility, but there are so many other responsibilities to take on in life.

We go through different phases in life, and through each phase, we have different responsibilities. A baby wouldn't have any responsibilities as an infant/toddler...besides bringing joy to his/her parents... As a child gets older, its the responsibility of the parents to raise him/her properly, giving him/her certain responsibilities as he/she gets older. For example, parents should encourage young children to 'pick up their toys' after playing, or to 'wash their hands' after eating. Older children should be taught to help with chores such as unloading the dishwasher, or helping with the lawn mowing. Kids learn responsibilities slowly, and from the very beginning, parents should teach them their responsibilities, so that they can grow up to be responsible adults. Teens should have the responsibility of doing their own laundry, cleaning their room every morning, helping in the kitchen, helping with younger siblings if they have any, caring for pets, shopping, etc. A father could never have the responsibility of carrying a child in the womb, or bearing a child, or nursing a child. That is a responsibility on mothers, only, and something that a man could never do. In my eyes, when a family works hand and hand, and each member takes care of his/her responsibilities, everyone has a very smoothe, happy, and loving family life.

I'm not one who thinks that at 18, kids should be kicked out of the house and left on their own. It all depends on the family's situation, and the kid's situation. If the parents are not well-to-do, then by all means should the young adults in the family be a financial help. If the parents can't afford for the kids' education, then the kids should definitely work and provide for themselves. If, however, the parents are very rich, and they're throwing their kid out on his/her own when the kid is earning only $7 or $8 an hour, that, in my eyes, just makes the parents look miserly and cruel. I live in a region where apartment rents are very, very expensive. My husband and I pay $1470 a month for our one bedroom apartment. Sure you can get cheaper housing in cheaper locations, but those locations usually have a high crime rating, and the neighborhoods are not very pleasant to live in. How fair is it for parents to be rich, living in a nice big house, while their kid is forced to suffer, living paycheck-paycheck, and only earning enough rent for shelter, with no savings for anything else. Though the kid may be an adult, he/she is STILL 'their' kid. Its not easy to live off of a restaurant/supermarket job, especially in my area...and hardly any 18 year old can earn enough to have a decent living around here. You can get a decent job after completing your college education, that pays enough to live a decent life, but a person would have to be at least 22 or 23, normally, to afford that around here. I would live with my parents over living with a roommate anyday. Why is it wrong for a parent to buy things for their kids if they are wealthy, and their kid doesn't earn enough yet? Isn't it our responsibility to help and provide for our parents when they are old and not earning enough anymore? Shouldn't kids be responsible for their parents in their old age? Its all about family life and not being selfish. Kids should be taught to be responsible, but if they don't earn enough to live a decent life, and the parents do, then the parents should help them.

I also feel that everyone has different responsibilites. If the man of the house is working and the woman isn't, that doesn't mean the woman is irresponsible. The man is taking care of his responsibilities, and the woman is taking care of her's. If a woman is caring for her house, cooking, cleaning, caring for her children, caring for her pets, keeping things clean, doing the laundry...that in itself is a fulltime job. Would the woman be considered irresponsible just because she isn't working outside the house? It should not be that way. My husband provides for me financially, but I provide for him in other ways. He does things I don't normally do, but I do things he doesn't normally do. Its fair and square.

My point is...just because someone doesn't work outside the house doesn't mean they don't take care of any responsibilities. In my opinion, all MEN should work outside of the house, should have enough of an education to support themselves and their families well, with no exceptions. Boys SHOULD be responsible by the age of 18-20. For girls, on the other hand, it depends. If the family needs money, or if they don't have enough to provide for her, she SHOULD work, and SHOULD help them. If the family is wealthy, girls can also have a lot of responsibilities at home to take care of, besides working outside.

I never paid rent to my parents while I lived with them. They paid for most of my stuff. Why? Well...I never needed to. They have their own house, with no mortgage or loans on it. Besides taxes, they don't need to pay anything for their own house anymore, so why would I have to pay them. I'm THEIR DAUGHTER. They have bought lots of things for me, but that is because God gave them the means to do so. I have had responsibilities in the house ever since I was a kid, and always took care of them. My parents never had to care for the garden. I always did that. They never had to do my laundry, or iron my clothes. I did that. There were times when they didn't have to cook, because I would help them in it. Before my marriage, my mom was telling me that she wonders if she still knows how to clean the house. I took care of that throughout my teen years. I had responsibilities, and just because I didn't do what my dad did *earning*, that doesn't mean he did what I did. We worked hand in hand as a family, with my dad and brother earning, and my mother and I taking care of other things. My parents raised us well and gave us the responsibilities and independance we would need as adults. I'm married now, and doing fine managing things on my own. My mom worked before we were born, but after having children, she devoted her life to raising us, teaching us, caring for us, and my dad provided for us all. I loved my life, and want to lead a similar life now, after marriage. My husband earns, but I take care of all of my responsibilities inside the house. I take care of the house, the pets, the laundry, the cleaning, the cooking...everything. On weekends, we do things together, and he helps me in the house, and I help him with things like washing the car, etc., but on weekdays, I do my thing and he does his thing. When I become a mother someday, God willingly, my husband will be providing, financially, for me and the kids. I won't be going out to work unless it is a necessity for me. That does not mean I'm not responsible, as an adult. I take care of what I need to take care of. I want to be a full-time mother when I have children, and stay at home to raise and nurture them my babies, without leaving them with a babysitter, or anyone else. If I work, I won't be able to be a full-time mom when I have kids, and devote my life to them and my husband. If I worked now, I would still have things to do at home, and wouldn't have the time and energy to spend with my husband when he comes home from work. When there is family stability, family love, and family unity, no one has to argue about these things. If someone's parents are wealthy and want to buy them a car, that's fine, and their choice. Everyone is going to get the provisions that are meant for them...nothing more, nothing less, and it doesn't matter who provides for them.

My mom gave both my husband and I a wonderful piece of advice on my wedding day, as we were leaving the reception hall together. She told us, "Always remember to be mindful of YOUR responsibilites, and focus on what YOU need to do. Don't whine about your rights not being fulfilled, but focus on your responsibilites, as individuals, and your responsibilites towards each other. This is the key to a happy married life."

I have taken my mom's advice seriously, and so far, so good. I take care of my responsibilites, and my husband takes care of his. I don't demand my rights from him, and he doesn't demand his rights from me. We just get them. If everyone takes care of their responsibilities, everyone's rights are automatically fulfilled, with no one complaining about the other person not doing what they need to do.

I do agree with you on being peeved with young adults who do not appreciate their parents who do things for them, or complain on every little thing...but as long as they're taking care of their household responsibilities, even if they're living under their parents' roof, it is fine. If they are not doing ANYTHING, and just sitting around, living off their parents' hard work without doing any hard work themselves, then yes, there is definitely a problem.

I think the main problem in today's society is the selfishness that everyone has, and the lack of family unity. Sadly, so many youngsters in today's world are selfish, and tend to forget how much their parents have done for them. So many parents are selfish, and forget how much they once loved their kids. So many husband and wives are selfish, and forget how much they should mean to each other. What makes a society are the families in it, and when the families are selfish, irresponsible, and unstable, the society is in for a downfall.

Just my 2...okay...10 cents.

[Kfamr]

I do agree with you on being peeved with young adults who do not appreciate their parents who do things for them, or complain on every little thing...but as long as they're taking care of their household responsibilities, even if they're living under their parents' roof, it is fine. If they are not doing ANYTHING, and just sitting around, living off their parents' hard work without doing any hard work themselves, then yes, there is definitely a problem.

This is exactly it.

They have NO responsibilities, as stated in the subject of the thread.

In my opinion, teenagers should have to work for what they want in life. No 18 year old (my peers) should be without a job of some sort. In my opinion, if you're of age to get a job, not going to school, and don't have any responsibilities in the home - you should be financially supportive of your household no matter how "rich" one's family is.

[caseysmom]

I totally agree Kay. I tell my kids if they are in college, fine they don't have to work, but still have to help with the house. If they don't go to college they need to work, they can't do neither.

I feel that my girls MUST have careers. You can marry but you never know what will happen in your lifetime. What if your husband becomes ill? What if your marriage becomes unbearable and you are financially depenedent on him?

I think the child rearing is a joint responsibility and the work schedules can be adjusted for both parents to work, I think it is a good example to our daughters.

[Alysser]

I agree with you, even though I am a kid, I am so tired of seeing kids in school who do nothing and have coach purses, uggs, make-up, abercrombie, and whatever other crap they want. This girl who sits near me and langauge arts was complaining today about how her mom would not let go to the movies because she refused to clean her room! It takes less then TWO MINUTES!! Just clean it.

I have uggs, coach purses, and stuff but I don't laze around all day. I maybe 13 but I do have ALOT of responsiblities. My two most important tasks are Pets and school. Especially pets! My parents made it VERY clear to me that if I want to have pets I have to take care of them. I wouldn't ever be allowed to get another one if I didn't work for my pets. I walk Sassy almost everyday, feed her, let her go inside the laundry room to pee/poop, clean up her poop on walks, watch her, play with her, and train her constantly. With Star I clean her cage, feed her, give her more water, ect. Same with the fish. I don't do laundry but I do whatever else my mom tells me. I have school to. I need to study for tests/quizzes, do ALL my homework, and most importantly keep my grades up. I have a 99% in math right now!! I also do minor chores like make my bed, cover Stars cage at night, lock Sassy in her "house", ect. I do all my chores, then worry about fun. If I needed to clean my room to go to the movies I would. How hard is that?

I see where you are coming from Kay and I understand as I have to deal with it everyday. These girls who have no responsiblities make fun of others who have them.

[lizbud]

Wow, PCB. You don't post often, but when you do...... it's always a well
thought out answer. I agree with you by the way. Except I think your post
was a least a dollar's worth of opinion.

[Glacier]

Those kids are in for a rude awakening someday. My brother's kids are like this. My brother is very wealthy, has some serious issues that impact his parenting and to make up for that, he spoils his kids rotten. They range for 18-14 years old. He should just deal with his own crap and get it out of the way, but right now he hasn't recognized the issue enough to deal with it. That's a whole other story though! His kids are spoiled brats. Everything has been handed to them on a platter and someone else picks up the platter when they are done! My niece got a Hummer-2 for graduation! Someday they are going to be forced to live in the real world and it's going to be ugly. They have no skills--no basic housekeeping, no budgeting, no idea how much it takes to earn enough to pay rent, groceries ect. When you move out, Kay, you'll be equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you. Your parents did you a huge favor by making sure you have the ability and skills to cope on your own.

Money has never been an issue for anyone in my family, even when I was growing up. We never went without a thing(except the pony my Dad always refused to buy me ). My parents provided the basics and beyond. If I wanted something extra though, I had to earn it. They would buy me clothes to go back to school, but if I wanted designer jeans, I paid the difference. I worked for my Dad, I coached skiing, I waited tables. My Mom made sure I knew how to cook, not real well back then, but enough that I wasn't going to have to live on Kraft Dinner. I could do my own laundry, clean my apartment, budget ect.

To this day, I could call my Dad and tell him I need financial assistance. Without fail, he'd help me out. I'd try everything else possible first before I called my Dad. I would have to be about to loose my house and my dogs before I made that call, but he would be there for me. I believe that's his and my mother's greatest gift to me...they gave me both the skills the make my own way and my own mistakes and the security of knowing someone was always there if I screwed up. To be sappy about it, they gave me both roots and wings.

[cali]

oh I know it always bothers me that my best friend complains about how awful her mom is, how she is constantly broke etc.. meanwhile she works(or worked, she back in school now) 4 good paying jobs, her parnets still buy everything for her, all she has to pay for is her cell phone and gas for her truck, or if she goes shopping without her parents.

ok, I come from an extremly low income family(on welfare) so guess what? that means I have to pay to live in my house, I have to buy grocerys for the family, I have to pay the costs of all my pets, plus the vet bills of my moms pets, I have to pay the gas of both my parents cars, plus my own cell and cable bills, an of coarse I have to pay for all my own clothes and othe such things, I work 1 minimum wage job, yet my being totally broke is a rare occurence. so do I have freedom like not telling my mom where I am, or staying out till 2am just because without telling anyone and without getting in trouble? yes, but I also have loads more responsibility then her.