I can relate to you. My mother died the night before my 40th birthday. I was there with her in the hospital, talking to her (even though she was unconscious) all night long. It seemed so weird...40 years earlier, she was helping me come into this world, and now, 40 years later, I was helping her leave it in the same time frame. She took her last breath right about the actual time I took my first. I felt very emotional every year around my birthday, it always seems so lonely without her, I miss her so much. When I turned 50, I made sure to tell alot of people & had a picnic, because I didn't want to turn 50 alone. It helped to erase some of the pain & sense of loss, now my birthdays still bring it up, but I don't feel so emotional about it.