serious concerns about my daughter....

[cali]

ok my friend is around your daughters age, she said that she used to do the same thing, she suggested taking your daughter out shopping, she said to set a certain amount of money aside for her and tell her she can pick out whatever she likes, and no matter what tell her she looks good, take an interest in her music and her styles etc.. build up her confidence and make her feel good, my friend said that was you build up her confidance and make her feel good about herself, if she asks a question dont lie be as open as possable, she said that when your daughters conifidence in you is built up and she has a really good relationship with you she will open up to you sooner or later, the key is to make her feel wanted, and dont be pushy, let her come to you, dont push her or she will clam up. my friend said that when her dad started taking a close interest in her life and made her confortable around him, she opened up to him and she no longer cuts herself.

[carole]

Thanks Cali i have taken all those points into consideration, i do take an interest in Melissa's life, but you know sometimes we all slip a little, maybe i need to make a more conscious effort to do just that, thanks for the tips, I am more than happy to go shopping with her, but she does not really want to go anymore with mum, mainly her friends, something that i really miss too, she has some birthday money to spend, so that would be a good opportunity for us to go out together and do some retail therapy.

I really do hope it is just a phase as simple as that, but i do realise it is not something i can accept as just that, and need to take action regardless of the reason behind it all.

She does have an unhealthy obession with the darker side of things, IMO, i have always worried about that, and it only surfaced in the last year or so, before that she was more interested in volunteering with cats etc, i think i also need to get her more involved in recreation, like sports and the like again, we had decided to have a year off, but i know think this may have been a serious mistake.