Gosh, I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine having it all dumped on my sholders. There's NO WAY its all your fault. It takes two to make a marriage and two to make the battles within it.

Once I was with a guy who made me feel like everything was my fault. I cried every night on my way home from his house. I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and ate half a dozen donuts alone in the car during my ride home (crying and creme powdered donuts make curious companions on the road). Oh yeah, that was one happy relationship I was desperate to get out but couldn't bring myself to admit I made a mistake and chose the wrong man. The day he finally ended it, I cried.... tears of relief. I was free. It was amazing. I knew I was released to find the right guy who would treat me right and love me the way I was meant to be loved. Like Gini, 6 months later he came back for me. I told him that he didn't want me then, why shold he think he wants me now? Boy was that empowering!

If your marriage is over, then let it die and be free to find happiness on your own. If its not over, then fight for something you truly believe in and find a way to make it work.

I tell you, honestly, if I knew step parenting was going to be this hard I'd have run before the first date. Nobody has a clue as to how hard it is to be a step parent until they've been there. Its not just you and your spouse in the relationship... its you, the kids, and the ex. Its hard enough to keep a marriage going with just two people working together, but it gets even trickier with others stepping in. (((HUGS)))