Looks as if Alexander flies to Az .We LOST.I think? Not as bad news as first thought!

**Jadapit** · 07-29-2006, 02:47 PM

All he kept saying was "if I am a good boy and get my shots and I get to stay with Daddy and Mere again right?"

Omg, that is heartbreaking.

I feel like crying. What adults do to their own children is so sad. In a perfect world his mom would be the bigger person and leave her son where he is happy. Gosh, I really cant imagine how tough this is on you all.

**DrKym** · 07-29-2006, 02:53 PM

The absolute kicker to this Jadapit was before we moved she wanted us to take him as long as we would still send the child support (1100.00) I told her to meet me at the courthouse and we would get papers drawn up. She refused to put it on paper because that would have made it so she couldn't keep control over her ex. See it isn't about Alex for her it is about the money. Az is not an alimony state,her only way of getting cash is by child support. The fact that she has stated in court she never wanted kids she had Alex to "shut Jasper up about kids" didn't strike up alarm bells to the Judge I will never understand.

**Catty1** · 07-29-2006, 03:07 PM

Wow...yes how to word it. Wow. I am trying to think back to being six.

hmm....Daddy and Grandma are flying back for a couple of days to tell the judge that you are staying with Daddy and Mere. Can you help them?

Well, there is a really nice man there. He is a judge. And Daddy can tell him things, and so can Grandma - but the most important person to talk to the nice judge is YOU. That way you can tell him yourself what you want, cause you are the most important person here.

Am trying to think of a way to convey to Alex that he is IMPORTANT and HELPFUL here...to empower him a bit so he doesn't feel like a victim. Which poor lad can't help it.

Again, clumsy wording - but I would hope that might trigger a few ideas?

HUGS

**Dorothy39** · 07-29-2006, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by Catty1

Wow...yes how to word it. Wow. I am trying to think back to being six.

hmm....Daddy and Grandma are flying back for a couple of days to tell the judge that you are staying with Daddy and Mere. Can you help them?

Well, there is a really nice man there. He is a judge. And Daddy can tell him things, and so can Grandma - but the most important person to talk to the nice judge is YOU. That way you can tell him yourself what you want, cause you are the most important person here.

Am trying to think of a way to convey to Alex that he is IMPORTANT and HELPFUL here...to empower him a bit so he doesn't feel like a victim. Which poor lad can't help it.

Again, clumsy wording - but I would hope that might trigger a few ideas?

HUGS

I am so wired with coffee right now!!!!

Why is it, when I get nervous, I reach for the nervous stuff!!!!

anyway , I think the second line is "paragraph" is on an excellent thought wave here. He is "important" , good note!!!!

**DrKym** · 07-29-2006, 03:57 PM

Agreed and we will think on how to say it with the least stress. I do not plan on telling him until Sunday night.

**Catty1** · 07-29-2006, 04:15 PM

Okay, did errands and thought some more...

I think your idea of no stress is good - rather than blow it up with 'it's all about Alex' - I mean, we know it is, but not to put all the burden on him.

So quietly, as you indicated. Some ideas in point form:

1. Daddy and Grandma are flying etc etc
2. They want you to come with them IN CASE they need your help(or something like that). Because you are the most important person, you will be a big help.
3. And when you come back (one, two sleeps), we'll go for ice cream (or whatever is his favourite treat)!

The whole gist of it being: This trip is a good thing. (thank you, Martha)

Dr G (can't recall your first name), you and Alex's dad can get all this info - but YOU have the advantage of knowing him and how to talk to him. It'll be okay! Like I told my sister - "Whatever happens, it will be ok."

hugs and prayers

**Dorothy39** · 07-29-2006, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by Catty1

Okay, did errands and thought some more...

I think your idea of no stress is good - rather than blow it up with 'it's all about Alex' - I mean, we know it is, but not to put all the burden on him.

So quietly, as you indicated. Some ideas in point form:

1. Daddy and Grandma are flying etc etc
2. They want you to come with them IN CASE they need your help(or something like that). Because you are the most important person, you will be a big help.
3. And when you come back (one, two sleeps), we'll go for ice cream (or whatever is his favourite treat)!

The whole gist of it being: This trip is a good thing. (thank you, Martha)

Dr G (can't recall your first name), you and Alex's dad can get all this info - but YOU have the advantage of knowing him and how to talk to him. It'll be okay! Like I told my sister - "Whatever happens, it will be ok."

hugs and prayers

Well said, You are providing a splendid communcation method here.