Dear Groucho,

I think I'm rather smart - as soon as I hear my mom pull the cord out and plug it in, I go and hide under the bed. My mom thinks that's a very bad move, as I corner myself. She does try to get me out in another room, but that damn thing is standing there in the doorway, and I don't really feel like going past it, but I do in the end It's like a giant monster hissing at me ... well, I know you understand what I mean.

Your friend,
Fister