needing some advice...

[AbbyMom]

Carole, I agree with Bobs Dad...sometimes people who are hitting rock bottom need to know that someone cares. After all, if you really believe no one cares...then what? And if you contact him and it doesn't amount to much (if he is an addict, it won't change anything), you will always know you tried, and that counts for something in my book.

[Catty1]

I am reminded of a story:

A young adult was ranting at one of their parents, angry at where they were in life and blaming everything on Mom and Dad.

After the yelling ended, one parent replied: "Well, maybe it IS our fault you are where you are now. But if you stay there - that's YOUR fault."

You can carry a message, but not a body - that's totally HIS job.

hugs
Catty1

[buckner]

I speak from personal experience - all you can do is love him and pray for him. You cannot give him money, a place to stay, nothing. He got himself into the rut he's in, he's got to learn how to get himself out. He MUST hit rock bottom before he makes a change. He won't hit rock bottom if you give him money, or a home, or whatever. You can see to it that he doesn't go hungry by giving him food (if you choose) but that's it.

One of my uncles is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He's been to rehab 4-5 times now, and it's done nothing for him. He has two children whom he never sees. He was a lawyer, making $400,000 a year. What does he do now? He makes $7/hr up at a gas station. It's the hardest work he's ever done for the least amount of money. But what happened? He hit ROCK BOTTOM, and I believe he's trying to turn his life around. It'll be a LONG and SLOW process, but if he does, it'll be on his own. Nobody has given him anything. My mom wanted to help, but we all told her if she did, she'd enable his habits. If he wanted to continue his habits, he had to fund them.

Carole, I know you're not thinking of giving him a place to stay. And I know you're wanting to contact him. If you want to contact him, I wish you the BEST of luck! And I admire that even though he's done a lot of "bad" things, you're still there with the thought of "such a nice boy" and wanting to talk to him. It's good to see those kind of people still exist. So, just love him and pray for him. It's really, all you can do.

Keep us updated, I'm interested to see what he decides to do, and what you decide to do. Especially if you're able to contact him, let us know. You, Mike, and his family are all in my prayers. God bless people like you.

[carole]

Thank you all so very much for your words of wisdom, i am going to contact him if i can find out where he is , and at least let him know i care, and give him food and blankets for warmth if need be, i don't know the whole situation and need to see for myself just how bad things really are, i maybe mistaken, who knows, but thanks for all advice, greatly appreciated, you know he really is a nice kid and i just cannot understand why he chooses this path , it is beyond me, i would hate to see this young man waste his life and so far that is what he is doing,if even i can make a small difference in his life, by loving him and helping in a small way,at least i will know i have tryed.