Thursday 163- Let's celebrate warm weather!

[moosmom]

RedHedd,

Boy, you've got 'em all down pat. What did ya do, memorize them???

BTW, ya forgot the PADAMPUMP (drum) at the end.

[Edwina's Secretary]

And I thought I would get into trouble for telling the "no-arms no-legs jokes!"

Oaky....there is a woman who has had terrrible luck with men. So she runs an ad in ther Personals....

"Wanted: a man who won't beat me or run around with ohter women. Must be a good lover."

Her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs. She tells him she already gave at the office.

"No," he says, "I'm here to answer your ad."

"But, but...." she says....

He explains..."I have no arms so I won't beat you, I have no legs so I won't run around with other women."

SHe replies...."But there was one other requirement."

"How do you think I rang the door bell?"

[finn's mom]

"How do you think I rang the door bell?"

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

[RedHedd]

RedHedd,

Boy, you've got 'em all down pat. What did ya do, memorize them???

BTW, ya forgot the PADAMPUMP (drum) at the end.

Google is my friend!

[finn's mom]

I love the joke from Pulp Fiction.

Mama Tomato, Papa Tomato and Baby Tomato are walking down the street together.

Baby Tomato starts lagging behind.

Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back to Baby Tomato.

Steps on him and says.

Ketchup.

[moosmom]

Roflmao!!!!!

[smokey the elder]

(With apologies to anyone with Hansen's Disease in the audience)...

Why did they stop the leper hockey game?

...there was a face off in the corner!

[finn's mom]

(With apologies to anyone with Hansen's Disease in the audience)...

Why did they stop the leper hockey game?

...there was a face off in the corner!

that's sick! i love it!

[Lady's Human]

Richard, the place I'd love to spend a week?

Whitney Point, NY

to add to the bad jokes:

A string walks into a bar, gets up on the barstool and orders a beer. The bartender points to a sign on the wall that says "No string allowed" and tells him "We don't serve your kind here".

Frustrated, the string walks out into the parking lot. He gets so frustrated he loops around himself and rubs the top of his head against the wall. After taking out his frustration, he walks back into the bar and orders a beer again. The bartender tells him "Didn't I just tell you we don't serve string?". The string looks at the bartender and tells him "no,I'm a frayed knot".

badumbum.