Okay, sweetie, I am going to play Teacher first :

"hands, trying" You have a period there. Use a comma.

"you dad and I" Missing the "r" on "your"

Now, having said that, I think your piece is outstanding. Few of your peers, if any, will have the guts and honesty and real writing ability (which you DO have) to write something like this.

Was your assignment for a complete from-birth-up-to-now autobiography, or something happening in your life? Before you hand it in, just ask your teacher if a real incident in your life is okay to use, unless you already know that it is.
(Hey, my mom was a teacher for over 40 years - this is honest nagging!)

It has an 'unfinished' sound to it - just a suggestion: End this with a couple of sentences about what you hope for now and in the future. What would you like to see happen? What would you advise others in this situation to do? How do you want to prevent this from happening to you and your kids in the future?

Just suggestions. It is great. Go with it.

hugs
Catty1