Need drinking advice (Adult Advice)

[Jessika]

Aw come on guys, drinking on occasion, not to get drunk, is not a bad thing like you're making it out to be. There is responsible and irresponsible drinking. In this specific case, if you are on medication for other things etc it may not be a good idea, in fact it is NOT a good idea to EVER mix medication and alcohol.

But in general drinking is not evil or a bad thing. Drinking responsibly on occasion is one thing; going out every night to bars to get wasted is another.

[My Peanuts]

I drink sometimes. Not nearly as much as I did in college. I drink and get drunk (not stupid falling down drunk, but legally drunk.) I see nothing wrong with it in moderation and the fact that you are asking questions means you want to do it responsibly. I’m sure you know not to drive or let someone drive you that’s been drinking.

You said your parents don't drink so alcoholism doesn't run in your family (or didn't have the chance to show up) which is good but doesn't mean you don't have it. Don't drink to help with feelings or to forget about something that's bothering you.

For your first time, drink slow and much less than you think you should. Don't drink shots; they will sneak up on you too fast. Sip a beer, or a mixed drink. I like Vodka and cranberry (not sure if you are allergic to cranberry juice too). Otherwise Mike's hard lemonade is good, but more than 2 burn my stomach because of the acid.

Alcoholism does run in my family, but I certainly don't have a problem. I used to drink a lot in college because it was social and it was fun and I wasn't addicted. Now I drink much less and most of the time when the opportunity arises I don't even indulge.

[slleipnir]

I honestly don't see any harm in a drink or 2. I personally like a drink now and then. If I had a long, hard day, then I find a drink relaxes me a little. I've never been a big drinker. I've never even been drunk. However, I do like to have a drink once in a while.

[jenluckenbach]

Let's start by saying, I am 43 and I never learned to drink (as you put it). I can't even handle the smell, why would I want to go further??? (same reason I never smoked)

I would never tell any person who enjoys a beer or wine (or any alcoholic drink) on occassion, that it is wrong. But I ASSUME it is because they LIKE it! If you need to "learn to drink" it sounds like you feel the need to (not because it gives you a bit of enjoyment, but because it is cool???)

If you happen to try a beer or some wine, and find you like the taste, then have 1 or 2 once in a while. But what happens if you force yourself to drink something alcoholic and your body reacts badly? What if that is all it takes to prove you have no control over what alchohol does to you? An alchohlic doesn't KNOW he/she is an alchoholic, not usually until the drinks start to run and ruin their lives. I just can't imagine purposely putting yourself in that possible danger.

So I guess my first advice would be "DON'T FORCE YOURSELF." and after that I would say start with something small and be true to yourself about how it makes you feel.

[moosmom]

Ever hear of Karen Ann Quinlan?http://www.ascensionhealth.org/ethic...ses/case21.asp

[Cataholic]

JenL and Jessika have thoughts similar to my own. I drink, and have since I was 15 or 16, I suppose. I enjoy a glass or two of wine, a cold beer on occasion, and sometimes a chick drink! For me, it is something I enjoy, in moderation.

I don't know why you want to try NOW something you haven't had before, other than as an effort to test your wings, and maybe put something between you and Rob. "Look, Rob, I can drink now, too" is what comes to mind.

Anti-depressants and alcohol do not mix. At all.

[king2005]

JenL and Jessika have thoughts similar to my own. I drink, and have since I was 15 or 16, I suppose. I enjoy a glass or two of wine, a cold beer on occasion, and sometimes a chick drink! For me, it is something I enjoy, in moderation.

I don't know why you want to try NOW something you haven't had before, other than as an effort to test your wings, and maybe put something between you and Rob. "Look, Rob, I can drink now, too" is what comes to mind.

Anti-depressants and alcohol do not mix. At all.

I'm not on any form of medications. I don't do well on any medication (I'm going to avoid all meds at all costs, except my allergy meds as its a once a week or once a month thing.. its random when I take it). I didn't even know I was allergic to the Pill & the Patch until I left Rob. My head suddenly cleared up, I was no longer randomly sad, my skin issues are gone (just touching me use to hurt so much), I can remember things (I had a hard time remember how to spell my own name & couldn't remember my own phone # & could hardly count...Now, I learned my new phone # in just reading it once!).

I met Rob when I was 16yrs old & hes Anti-Drinking big time, so I just never drank. Both of my grandfathers are drunks. One hit me (hes dead now.. not to be mean, but thank goodness!), The other is still around & hes a happy drunk. All my friends back home have the odd beer here & there. I can't do squat at big work meetings as there is always booze, nor go to the bars with work employees.

My dads brother was never sober, but never drunk either & hes very welloff. My moms brothers are crazy party animals, but they are into drugs aswell, so I tend to ignore them 99% of the time.

My sister use to get wasted to the point of being ill, due to what mom put her through (mom got counclers to try to make us say that dad touched us! It was a living hell & she drank to get away.. I just dissapeared into the forest for up to 12hrs/day with my old dog to get away).

I don't think I'm depressed (I was sad & upset as he was cheating on me) as I haven't had a single Anxity attack since I've moved out... I talk to my dad daily on MSN (while I'm at work) & on the phone (when I'm at home). I also have a good support team (unlike when Max was murdered, but I think the Pill & the Patch had made that far worse for me then it should have been) this time.

I just wanted to do this right.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

All I will say is "know when to stop". Drinking isn't compulsory, you don't have to match everyone else drink for drink and it isn't a crime to leave your glass with drink still in it............

[king2005]

All I will say is "know when to stop". Drinking isn't compulsory, you don't have to match everyone else drink for drink and it isn't a crime to leave your glass with drink still in it............

I would never do that. I'm not interested in getting drunk off my rocker like that. I'm only interested in a drink or 2, I just don't know my limit yet, so I wont drink more then 1 until I see how it goes. I more then likely wont even drink 2.

[BOBS DAD]

I'm not on any form of medications. I don't do well on any medication (I'm going to avoid all meds at all costs, except my allergy meds as its a once a week or once a month thing.. its random when I take it). I didn't even know I was allergic to the Pill & the Patch until I left Rob. My head suddenly cleared up, I was no longer randomly sad, my skin issues are gone (just touching me use to hurt so much), I can remember things (I had a hard time remember how to spell my own name & couldn't remember my own phone # & could hardly count...Now, I learned my new phone # in just reading it once!).

I met Rob when I was 16yrs old & hes Anti-Drinking big time, so I just never drank. Both of my grandfathers are drunks. One hit me (hes dead now.. not to be mean, but thank goodness!), The other is still around & hes a happy drunk. All my friends back home have the odd beer here & there. I can't do squat at big work meetings as there is always booze, nor go to the bars with work employees.

My dads brother was never sober, but never drunk either & hes very welloff. My moms brothers are crazy party animals, but they are into drugs aswell, so I tend to ignore them 99% of the time.

My sister use to get wasted to the point of being ill, due to what mom put her through (mom got counclers to try to make us say that dad touched us! It was a living hell & she drank to get away.. I just dissapeared into the forest for up to 12hrs/day with my old dog to get away).

I don't think I'm depressed (I was sad & upset as he was cheating on me) as I haven't had a single Anxity attack since I've moved out... I talk to my dad daily on MSN (while I'm at work) & on the phone (when I'm at home). I also have a good support team (unlike when Max was murdered, but I think the Pill & the Patch had made that far worse for me then it should have been) this time.

I just wanted to do this right.

I am sorry... my deadline has to wait. I am just compelled to respond. Please know that I am in no way trying to be mean. You seem like you have had way too much of that already.

I honestly think you need help and counseling in the worst way. You have had such a difficult and unusual life experience(s) that I don't think you "really" even can grasp what is "normal" for most. Your latest post (QUOTED HERE) is a HUGE, HUGE RED FLAG. It "Screams Help Me" to even the most casual reader. Your text reads like a soap opera riddled with dysfunctionality.

Please believe me... counseling is in order AND IT WILL HELP. I have had counseling and it help me turn the corner during a very difficult time in my life. A new job (with folks who were unbearable), considering starting "my own business (partially because I always wanted to and partially "just to get away") and just unbearable weight on my shoulders. AND IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SEE THAT I NEEDED PROFESSIONAL HELP". You see, I was always the strong one, the prodigal son, the success story... people "just assumed I had it all together and would always come out on top". I carried myself that way too - proud, confident - all the while fighting off feelings of impending doom and collapse. After reaching the lowest of lows - I told myself I would "try" - "just try" one session of counseling. I went to several. Felt a little better but "not a magic pill" by any means. Left first counselor - tried a second, and then stumbled upon a 3rd. She was it!!! A loving, caring woman who seemed to almost "get me" from the beginning. It seemed like she had me pegged. Like she had heard this story before - she was just waiting for me to verbalize it. THE CLASSIC OVERACHIEVER. She made me realize that it was OK to fall short (Ooohhh... it almost still hurts to say that - but IT IS). I do NOT have be everything to everyone. I can't save the WORLD and it was just unrealistic to think that I could shoulder infinite responsibilty. She gave me a book that I never finished... just the first couple of chapters was enough to begin to put me at ease again and to start on the road to recovery. It was "FEAR OF FAILURE". What a great title. It almost says it all. It was the Fear of Failure that was the very worst of my concerns - more so than actual failure itself. The sort of being "EXPOSED". The embarassment, the ridicule... the spite from others who always wanted to see me fail. GUESS WHAT - nobody really cares - nobody was really watching me that close. And if they did care - why did I??? Suffice to say that it was quite enlightening and very helpful to realize that your worst of fears is "really" not all that bad. Enough of me (maybe someone reading this and suffering from anxiety might feel a bit more hopeful).

Your story is different. You have different and complex issues that I reallly think you need to explore and discuss with a trained "Professional". No offense, but you sometimes sound almost childlike in your perspective on life. You said you lived a very sheltered life and this could have affected you more deeply than you realize. And the drunken Grandparents, being hit, Party Animals on your Mother's side, attempts to have you wrongfully accuse your father of molestation... and on and on... Please consider seeing someone (TOM is "not" going to do it for you).

Well now that I have bared my soul in an effort to convince you to consider counseling - please get some help. I sincerely believe you need it.