Grrrr... who's right here?

[jenluckenbach]

Let me be inside Grant's mind for a moment. ( scary thought)

I would bet you that is isn't about "new vs. used". I bet it is more that the people are giving things to you with "strings attached". OK, so a large ticket item, like a crib, might be given to you "on loan", and he might accept that without question. But I can understand the feeling going on if most of the stuff isn't really being given to you as YOURS! (in other words, yours to give to whomever you'd like to after baby is finished with it).

So, now that we can understand what he might be thinking, you can sympathize with him ("I understand how you feel.") but continue to accept whatever, where ever ("But we need to save money wherever possible")

Get it?

[catnapper]

I told him that the crib from his sister was one of the items with strings attached and he said "no it isn't!" He has NO clue what is going on.

He is absolutely fine with us getting used items, no problem with it... its the concept that we only have them for temporary loan.

I myself REFUSE to buy new stuff when we're shopping for things. We will need every penny we have to diaper and feed the baby, so it seems so frivolous to buy a new fill-in-the-blank, when we can find a "gently used" fill-in-the-blank for 90% off the retail price. We've hit every Goodwill within a 20 mile radius and just today I found out about one by my FIL, so we'll head there tomorrow on the relentless persuit of lamps (will we EVER find a lamp???)

But it seems so odd to me that we BUY this stuff for ourselves when the baby will only use a lot of it for a few months and thats it! The swing, cradle, buncie thingie, etc will all be something ion the $50 range that will be used for a few months each then the baby outgrows it. Makes no sense to me!

On another note, my mom is laughing at how frugal I'm being and how I'm turning the strangest things into beautiful things for the baby's room (just wait til you see the revamped microwave cart! ) Its actually been very good for my creativity.

[jennawing]

I hate that on loan stuff. I never asked for anything back from my sister because she pulled that crap on me. Her oldest daughter is 3 years older than my daughter- and she gave me a lot of stuff- THEN- 8 years later- she wants stuff back because she decides she finally wants more kids? It was completely insane.

[catnapper]

I hate that on loan stuff. I never asked for anything back from my sister because she pulled that crap on me. Her oldest daughter is 3 years older than my daughter- and she gave me a lot of stuff- THEN- 8 years later- she wants stuff back because she decides she finally wants more kids? It was completely insane.

BUT, this is not as if they said, "here have everything, its yours." EVERYONE said, "We want to give you what you need, but when you're done with it, we'd like it back because we'd like to use it for our next baby" EVERYONE was up front and told us that from the start -- both my brother and neighbor want at least one more baby as soon as possible. Both my neighbor and brother have babies that are 15 months old and both want to start trying for another very soon... I know for a fact my brother and his wife are already trying for a 3rd baby.

So this was not as if we've thought all along that it was ours to keep; we knew they were lending things to us from the first moment they excitedly offered things to us.

[caseysmom]

I don't see anything wrong with the loans, when I was pregnant we had tried for 9 years to have kids and saved a lot of money. My friend in los angeles wanted to send me a bassinet that was passed among friends of hers, she shipped it to me, I signed my daughters name on the back along with other babies and sent it back when I was done, it was pretty neat.

This earth has enough stuff in landfills we need to conserve the resources we have.

[Scooby4]

My two best friends just had babies about a year apart. They both had girls. The father of the first born was the same way. However, after the birth of the child, things quickly changed. I think he realized just how much "stuff" was filling up the house! They still had to buy "new" things gradually as the baby grew naturally.
My two best friends have now passed things in between eachother. It was a tremendous help to them both. Ironically, because we are soo close, the same people were invited to BOTH baby showers! It was almost the same people buying them things for their babies! You can imagine someone running into them at the store and saying "Didn't I buy that for Stacy?" and Karen be wearing it!
It's just natural to share baby items. It's been done for generations. Otherwise, how else would you have your husband's sister's cradle? Or your grandmother's basinet? Once the baby is here, possession is in the baby and NOT the things!