Nook took a bad spill this morning. Raustyk bumped into him after I told her to calm down many many times. It was a pretty bad fall, nothing broken though thank god. He was unable to use it for a good 20 minutes or so. I gave him a nice massage and some extra pain meds. He improved pretty rapidly but still isn't doing too great. His spirits are still high though & he's still very happy. This happened as I was on my way out the door to go to work so I was about a half hour late to work but he's more than worth it.

This is so hard on me. I'm just so torn over this situation. I know when the time is right I will know but I am so scared that I may not. I do not want him to be suffering for any length of time yet if he's still having some happy days how will I know? Are these falls considered suffering, so much so that I should help him to the bridge before he gets seriously hurt? I do prefer to assist him on his journey when he is having a good day as then we will both remember our last moments together as happy moments but then again that will be incredibly hard to do as he will be having a good happy day that day. Just what if I help him to the bridge on a good day & little do I know that he would of had a month more of good days? then again I have to remind myself not to be selfish here but how do I know if I am or not? Ugh why oh why do their lives always have to be totally dependant on our course of action? Why not just once are they able to make a decision for themselves?