What's your favourite conspiracy theory?

[Cataholic]

So, let me get this straight, when Terry was cranking that handle at the mission, is that what operates the homing beacon?

WAIT a moment...are you talking about Aliens, here? I don't wanna no nuthin' about Terry crankin' some handle...

[Killearn Kitties]

Crop circles!! Of course! How could I have forgotten about them? I really lack the necessary paranoia to do this conspiracy theory stuff well. I'm just not good at it.

A few years ago I was staying in a hotel that was also hosting a convention for people who studied crop circles. I overheard some interesting conversations in the dining room, I can tell you!

[Don Juan's mom]

Well, I'm sharing my home with two small furry extraterrestrials.

Think about it. Would any animal of Terran origin be capable of enslaving us? And making us love our enslavement?

But as far as conspiracy theories go, I'd have to go with the JFK assassination as my favorite. Think about it. This is the same government that came up with all kinds of wacky plans to assassinate Fidel Castro, and that couldn't keep the lid on the Watergate burglary or the illegal eavesdropping of overseas phone calls by the NSA. (Just think of the poor Federal employees who had to listen to thousands of Silicon Valley engineers calling their moms in India.) And they managed to keep a Presidential assassination nary-a-peep secret for over forty years?

I have two theories about it that I love:

1) The "two kooks" theory (my own invention): Lee Harvey Oswald and the guy on the grassy knoll were working completely independently of each other. The guy on the grassy knoll was gunning for Kennedy in the hopes of impressing Hayley Mills.

2) One that Mad Magazine came up with: Aristotle Onassis had JFK bumped off so he could marry Jackie. This one has the virtue of plausibility, which makes it superior to most of the others.

OK, I'll get back to work now.

Liz