It's very heartbreaking to loose a loved one, I know this well. As you can see in my avatar we lost our Angus after almost 13 years together.
The pain will subside but you will always remember the love that Samantha gave to you, that's one thing that will never go away.

I'm glad to hear that your not going to completely leave PT. I can tell you from experience that the people here can only help. Their loving words really touched me when I needed it and I think we can do the same for you.

Take care and join us again when you feel you can.

Anna