Working for family (long but very important to me) UPDATED

**Cataholic** · 12-31-2005, 12:58 PM

Sue,
If I were you, I would focus on the things I CAN control, and let go of the ones that I cannot. That is easier said than done, I know. However, once you do let go of the things out of your control, you will stop alot of the roller coaster of emotions. Think that through- you cannot control your brother's quittting, opening a new shop, your father's actions of either not staying with the business, etc.

Next, I would remember that you are ONLY responsible for your own actions. Not you brother's, not your father's. Just yours. As long as you do things that put you and your family first, what other people 'feel' is their business, their responsibility.

Then, I would make sure that you are as marketable, and that you have a resume 'up to date', and an idea of what is going on in the marketplace.

Last, here is some reality- family business, or not, you are in the same position most of us are (while we might not 'fess up to it)- replacable as an employee, at the employer's beck and call, and with the risk of having the company fold at a moment's notice. You have some benefits that I bet many of us do not- dogs/pets at work, a month's severance, and the ability to know what is going on with the place. Not meant to diminish your feelings...but, instead, make you realize you are not alone in your position.

Good luck.

**lv4dogs** · 02-01-2006, 01:40 PM

updated this in the first post

**JenBKR** · 02-01-2006, 02:25 PM

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry this is happening again. Life's rough patches never seem fair, but have faith that everything will work out in the end. Being miserable at work is hardly worth it, but if it's between that and your critters...whew, not an easy decision. I wish I had some wonderful, inspirational advice to give (like you always give me

) but I really don't except to say that anytime you need to talk PM me. If there is anything I can do please let me know! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

**beeniesmom** · 02-01-2006, 04:39 PM

I just saw this post now. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
I hope you and your father can find a solution to the existing issues.
I know it can be difficult working with relatives, especially parents. I had to work with my dad for 7 years and it was not easy. The only difference, believe it or not, is that at the time, he worked for me. He slacked on his job and expected me to cover for him with the big boss. This made me very unconfortable and upset. I was happy the day he retired and I didn't have to put up with that crap any more. I have since moved away, as you know, and am in a new job.
I truly don't know what to tell you since it's a family business.
I just hope you can resolve some of the problems with your meeting with him.

Don't worry to much about it either way....
I live by the philosophy that when a door closes a BIGGER and BETTER one opens. You and your critters will be fine.
PM me if you need.

**k9krazee** · 02-01-2006, 04:51 PM

Giant ((((((Hugs)))))) to you...I don't know what to say...except I hope it all works out in the end, hang in there!

**Husky_mom** · 02-01-2006, 05:35 PM

oh........i´m sorry how thing are turning, but i know i speak for a lot of us if not everybody when i say that we are here for you, for whatever you need, i know i´m not as close to you as i would like to be able to help more, but theres plenty PTers willing to give you a hand, if i can help from here just let me know i got your back..........

just dont let yourself down, keep positive, and as said before when a door closes it is because something better is on its way, and everything happens for a reason.......... to get better.

i´m sure we will miss you but we understand what you are going through so take your time, because we will be waiting with arms open.... good luck Sue

HUGS AND KISSES to you and the pooches

**Alysser** · 02-01-2006, 05:49 PM

I'm so sorry this is happening. Prayers to you. (((HUGS)))

**Corinna** · 02-01-2006, 06:00 PM

Sue I'm so sorry it finally came down to this. I know you"ll find a job fast and it will be the perfect fit. Don't forget all the possiblities look at catnapper she's teaching dog classes . Hug and when your down just email or call me or Gina you know you won't be for long. HUG

**catland** · 02-01-2006, 06:53 PM

Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I think that you and your father should first consult a lawyer to understand any possible legal ramifications - and then if its possible the two of you should either buy out or fire your brother.

Also, check out the internet or the bookstore for books/articles that deal with the psychology of family businesses.

Google something like "family business stress" and you'll be on your way. You'll either be directed to books to buy or you might be able to find online reprints of articles that deal with exactly what you and your father are going through right now.

Finally, I agree with Cataholic - prepare for the idea that you won't work there anymore by having your resume ready. In fact, there's nothing to stop you from starting the process now. Employers tend to want to hire people away from other people, so the best time to look for a job is when you have a job. This will at least remove some of the anxiety of what will happen in the future.

**lv4dogs** · 02-02-2006, 10:04 AM

Thanks everyone for the kind words, encouragement & suggestions.

Our meeting went ok, not as well as I thought it would but better than it could of been.
We resolved some issues but things are still left unsaid. It's still very stressful.

Between our meetings we have spoken with each other, lawyers & our accountant.

The bosses did come to an agreement, if anyone (the owners, my brother or father) decides to leave they will do so in the proper way which will take about 6 months (4 months at the soonest up to a year at the latest) for everything to be final. And I will be notified as soon as their decision is made.
So I will have at least 4 months to find another job. And a months pay after they fold the business (if they do). I think that gives me enough time to find a decent job before the business goes under or changes hands or whatever.

But because of the fact that there is still a lot of pressure here & I have a feeling it isn't going to go away and also because I won't know when or if one or both of them will quit I will start looking for another job now.
It will give me more time to find a better job, one where I would still be able to care for all my critters.
Now I can take my time, at least semi-take my time. I may still be stressed out but I will find comfort knowing that I am still with all my critters. They are my priority, as sad as it is sometimes and as much as I have to deal with to keep them right now they do come before me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I just can not live without my animals.

I won't have to take much time off of work now to find another job either because it's not something that will happen litterally any day now.

Now the job hunting begins.