Thanks Johanna that did bring me comfort, I just hope she did really know that I loved her and was trying to help her, one never really knows, at least i got to see her last night, i tryed to approach her and get her to sniff my hands, and talk with her, she came for a feed last night with the other kitties and I tryed to get her to play on the fence with a long grass blade, I have to hold on to those memories of her .