Holidays & Families

[poofy]

I know what you mean.. none of the 8 of us hate the other, but they go out of their way to not have any thing to do with each other. .its beyond me, I dont understand it..it wasnt that way before my mom died and I dont know what happened..but they dont call or even talk when you call them..
IM sorry familys are like that it makes me very sad and hurts us all when it shouldnt even be that way.. Im glad that he has one sister that will be coming by and hope you all have a wonderful visit and that the other sisters will some day relize the wonderful brother they have missed out on..

[K9karen]

God, that breaks my heart. I hate hearing stories like that. It's happened in my mom's family. Everyone was raised the same but over the years, for whatever reason, whether someone criticized the other, or when my uncles sold my nana's house and belongings without consulting the sisters, who knows? Some siblings didn't talk for years. I have 3 girl cousins I rarely see, except at funerals. That's so ugly. Only the middle one, my age, has been calling me, especially since her mom died a year before mine, and she expressed horror and asked forgiveness that her mother wouldn't let her contact me, we don;t know why. It took my mom's death for all the cousins to finally call me and keep in contact. We have 30 years to catch up on. My mom became the matriarch and finally, years ago, contacted every sibling and made each of them call each other etc. I find it so hard to understand. My best friend's family is so wonderful and close with 5 kids, all cousins, grandchildren are close. I'm so jealous (in a nice way). My brother, who lives with me. basically lives a life of his own. I don't hate him, I just learned to accept that I'll never ever change him.
Kim, just my opinion, but it's the holidays and I think you and hubby should go. If you stay away, you're giving in, and they'll relish it. If they start anything, just be sweet and tell them you're there to enjoy yourselves, not to argue and walk away. I'm the kind of person who would purposely show up to display my dignity and grace under fire. If worse comes to worse, you graciously say an early goodnight and let them look like the *b's* that they are. I hope you and hubby go.

[carole]

I am lucky I have only one sister and her and I are close, I cannot imagine anything coming between us and i hope it never does, but my hubby dis-owned his whole large family (for very good reasons, believe me) and has had nothing to do with them for over three years now and I know he never will again, it is sad, but sometimes it just happens.,my hubby is the good guy in all of this,so IMO they are the ones missing out , my hubby feels very much a part of my family and they treat him like his own family should have in the first place.

[G535]

I can't offer any advice as I have no family left but after reading this and a lot of similar stories I really think I'm better off than most.

Make the best you can of the situation and have a happy Christmas anyway!

[BitsyNaceyDog]

I'm sorry Kim. Good luck.
I think a lot of families are like that in one way or another. I love the Christmas season so much, but I dread the actual Christmas day when we have to spend the day with family.
First We'll go to Justin's parents house. We don't talk to any of them too often, in fact we just found out the other day that Justin's sister and her husband were living with Justins parents, we had no idea. I don't even know how to discribe our relationship with Justins family, Justin and I are totally different from them. One of his sisters and her husband are so tightly wound that practically everything offends them.
Then we"ll go to my parents house where my grandma will be. She loves to give hidden insults, especially to my mom. She'll say something like- "Oh Linda (that's my mom) what are you cooking?" My mom will tell her Turkey, then my grandma would respond with something like "oh, that's what that is". That's not the best example, but you get the idea. She'll say things like that all day.
Our last stop of the day will be Justin's Aunts house. This the worst stop of the day. We only see that family once a year on Christmas. I hardly know any of them and Justin doesn't like any of them. There is a lot of tension there because of a horrible "family secret" that everyone knows about, but no one talks about. It's the reason we only see them once a year. We usually stay there about 45 minutes, long enough to make an apearance and leave without seeming too rude.

Good Luck to everyone this Christmas!