Need Advice -- Please!!

[catnapper]

Hmmmmm.... I have not read all the other replies, but this is one thing I've alweays felt very strongly about --- and I don't have kids, but I'm already planning for when the step kids have children!

I told hubby that I want THEIR kids to decide what they want to call me. If its mom-mom, then so beit. (but personally, I always hated it, much for the reasons you love it so much -- my step father's parents were mom-mom and pop-pop... and well, they were not the nicest to my brother and I but were the fdream grandparents of their biological grandchildren) My step kids call their grandfather Fav (or Favie) because thats what they heard when hubby called his dad "father" (my FIL is from the old school that feels children shold respect their parents and call them Father ) ANYHOOO.... they called their grandfather Fav, their Granmom was Nan. Their step-grandmother was Mama. All the names were chosen by the oldest child (my son) and I think its more personal and sweet that way.

[jenluckenbach]

I called my Dad's parents Grandma and Grandpa.

I called my Mom's parents Grandma and Pop-Pop. This step-grandmother (who I did not meet until I was 11 years old) wanted us to call her Ba-Ba but there was no way in heck I was going to do that.

My mom's grandmother and grandfather were Nana and Pappy.

[carole]

My children call my parents Nana and Grandad, can you not have them called mom-mom but add their surname to it, the letter like mom-momB and mom-mom g as an example, it is up to you really.

[finn's mom]

I'd just ask her if she has any specific reasons for wanting to be called Mom Mom. It could be as simple as she doesn't want to be called "grandma" cuz it sounds old or something. You never will know her feelings on it if you don't ask. It could be just something she overheard and thought was cute. And, she may not realize that it's such a big deal to you. And, my only question is...is it that you don't want anyone to be Mom Mom to your son or that you don't want your mother-in-law to be Mom Mom? Meaning, a lot of times names like that get passed down...like if you called your grandmother a certain name, sometimes your child will call his/her grandmother (your mother)the same thing you called yours...what is your mother wanting him to call her? I hope it all works out for the best. I would definitely ask her, though, why she specifically wants that name.

[Samantha Puppy]

And, my only question is...is it that you don't want anyone to be Mom Mom to your son or that you don't want your mother-in-law to be Mom Mom? Meaning, a lot of times names like that get passed down...like if you called your grandmother a certain name, sometimes your child will call his/her grandmother (your mother)the same thing you called yours...what is your mother wanting him to call her? I hope it all works out for the best. I would definitely ask her, though, why she specifically wants that name.

I know this sounds awful, but I don't want anyone to be Mom Mom. MY Mom Mom was so special, I just feel that anyone else using the name wouldn't be half the person she was. I KNOW that's not true, it's just that she is the epitome of this name and I'd be measuring up everyone else to her.

I don't know that I'd have as much of a problem if MY mom wanted to be called Mom Mom, as she is my Mom Mom's daughter and is very similar, but Cindy is just so different. She's not chubby and jolly and all that. For example - we couldn't afford furniture for the baby other than the crib. While Cindy was kind enough to offer Josh's old baby chest and changing table to us, and I really do appreciate the offer, my grandmother would've loaned us the money to buy matching pieces because she knows how long I've dreamed of having a baby and setting up a nursery. (We used to look through JCPenney catalogs together and pick out what we liked and didn't even though I was eons away from having children.) MY mom went to Cindy and asked if she'd be interested in buying the changing table for us if she (my mom) got the chest. Cindy said no, she didn't want to spoil us and we needed to use what we had instead of being handed everything. Now. I *do* agree with that frame of mind for a lot of things, but when it's something as special as having your first baby? I'm sorry, I just don't. And I don't fault Cindy for not wanting to take part in buying new furniture - that's just the way she is. And my Mom is different and that's just the way she is. But you see, my Mom did what HER mom... MY Mom Mom... would've done.

Cindy's just so different from what the word Mom Mom means to me. She's not a bad person by any means, even though we do butt heads sometimes. She's just different. And try as I might, I cannot break MY view of what a Mom Mom is to be able to call her it.

[finn's mom]

Then I would just tell your mother in law how you feel. I would be really shocked if she feels as strongly about being called Mom Mom as you feel about her not being called that. Good luck, though...

[Samantha Puppy]

Thanks, Kari - and thanks everyone else for your advice. It's not like I'm sitting here in tears over this. I'm just torn and really needed to know if I was overreacting or if my feelings were valid, etc.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to respond!!

[finn's mom]

Thanks, Kari - and thanks everyone else for your advice. It's not like I'm sitting here in tears over this. I'm just torn and really needed to know if I was overreacting or if my feelings were valid, etc.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to respond!!

No problem. And I think it's a smart thing, that you come in here to blow off some steam, and, really listen to what other's are saying...asking for advice on stuff like this. Because, chances are, if you had gone to your mother in law before all this, it may have been more confrontational and emotional than if you went to her about it now. And, your feelings should never be considered invalid, even if you are overreacting. If it's how you feel, then that's as valid and real as it gets. And, I don't think you're overreacting at all, by the way.