HUGS Audrey, first of all we all completely understand the love you have for Josie, most of us fit into the same category, I love my cats so much as well, and I have two children, they are just part of my family period, don't be too discouraged by what has happened recently, maybe it won't take too long to turn things around again, just be patient, and good luck to you,some great advice has been offered by those who have a lot of experience and I am sure it will help you, in the meantime take care and we are all here for you to listen and offer support.