Update

My MIL called my mother this afternoon. My mom was surprised that MIL didn't sound at all mad, but rather concerned for me. She asked my mom to speak with me to see if there was anything else they could do that would be okay with Josh and I.

Since I hadn't yet heard back from Erika, all I could go on was that I was told that our friends had no interest in coming to a party in our honor so I went with that. I said how hurt I was that they would "rather not" attend a party held for Josh and I, how I had some reevaluating to do, and how I felt stupid in assuming that Josh and I were as important to them as they were to us. I also reiterated that most of the really important people in my life are guys - my dad and brother, Josh's dad and brothers, my baby, my friends from school, etc. - and that having something to celebrate the baby that Josh and I created together with only my oldest friend's wives and the female-only-side-of-the-family just seemed wrong... so while I appreciated their (my mom's and MIL's) willingness and thoughtfulness to want to do something for Josh, Nug and I, it just wasn't me or us or what either of us would be comfortable with.

MIL then said that she thinks that my guy friends were under the assumption that even though it wasn't classified as a shower, it would still be like one (Hmmm, wonder why? Maybe because it wasn't explained to Erika correctly?) and that Josh's uncles said that if Josh's dad (their brother) wouldn't be there, they didn't want to come either and since my FIL is scheduled to be out of town on the weekend the shower was planned for, that's why all of the men opted not to come. So MIL and my mom are coming over tomorrow and we're going to discuss changing the date and possibly the title of the event (MIL mentioned "open house" but I just think that if it is made clear that it is JUST a party for Josh and I and NOT a shower, classifying it as a party is fine).

So we'll see. I guess my next update will come after I hear from Erika and then tomorrow after I meet with my mom and MIL.

Thanks everyone for listening to me vent. And KBlaix - you hit the nail directly on the head with everything you said. Ramanth - Having two parties in this case would not have kept the peace, it would've made things worse between me and MIL, my mom and MIL, and Josh and his mom. It would've been a disaster.