Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this stress. I know how you feel about being the center of attention. I have panic attacks when I get in situations like that. I didn't have a bridal shower and when I'm pregnant I won't have a baby shower either. I'd rather buy everything myself than have a shower. I'm sure when it comes time my family and friends will want to buy things for my baby even though I won't have a shower.
I don't like the idea of a shower anyway (I hope no one takes offense at this, because I mean none). I feel like a shower is something no one ever wants to go to, but when invited to one they feel obligated to go to it. I don't want people to feel the have to give me a gift (and lets face it, that's basically the reason for a shower). If someone wants to give my baby a gift then they will without feeling obligated.

I much more like the idea of a co-ed party (not shower!) to celebrate this special event in ALL of your lives. This baby will be a part of all your family and friends lives too. A party to celebrate that is a lovely idea. Gifts not necessary (though most would probably give them anyway).