this just is a mess..

because I didn't feel I've got enough supports, I didn't really want to say what happened but at the same time, didn't want to worry you. I will finish what I started. I'm sorry I asked.

here's what happened - when I picked them up, I see they have notched all of my five furkids' left ears. I got really upsetted/angry because I wrote down clearly and requested they are strcitly indoor cats and do not need another rabies shot or have their ears chipped off. but they did, the nurse forgot to hand that paper to the doctor! but what were they thinking anyway??? (!!!) arrgh, I mean, they were purrfectly healthy, soo sweet and I've been bringing them in for check ups so much. not like I would throw them back outside..

that was not the only thing. in the car before we were ready to leave for an hour driving, I took every of them out to say hi and hug them. you know, they need mothersely hugs after all this truama.. chance, (name changed from dante) was the only cat.. *sniffles* ..not moving. I grabbed him and ran back into hospital. because I couldn't speak and had chance in my hands, I couldn't really say anything. it finally took them a few seconds to look at CHANCE instead of staring at this crazy woman who sobbed her head off.

meanwhile they took him in, I wrote down, asked WHY did they did that.. the chance's nurse came back out and shaked her head.. asked other nurse to write down what she said.. "I'm sorry, I don't think he's going to make it......" I ran outside quickly, hate to have them see me crying. that was when I posted the last above. then found out he was still alive and had to stay overnight in ICU. at home now, I've been walking in circles, don't know what to do or when to call in again. I dread to hear something else awful. I'm still not sre what happened, must be from surgery complications.

right now, three boys star are giving me a hard time, they won't eat their breakfast this morning, they just sit still forever wherever I move them. and this morning was the first morning without their loud purrings. their ears are really painful too. they tried drinking some water but their heads got up and cocked to left side, had their eyes squished. I think it's because of blood pressure when they put their head down.

I guess that would be all for now. I'm gonna try make new picture threads to keep things off my mind - enough ttears.

thank you alice for the hug & a giggle.