Kim, I think maybe you misinterpreted what Liz was trying to say. I didn't take from her comments that she was talking about "you" at all, but about her mother's indifference and what I interpret to be a lack of fathering from her dad (not lack of love). I am not trying to put words in Liz's mouth, but that's the way I interpreted it when I read it.
I, personally, do not know how you do it, day to day, with an indifferent child. I do view your situation as that you ARE her mother, not her step-mother, especially since her birth mother is not involved in her life at all. Sometimes, I think that no matter what a parent or step-parent does, it just doesn't work with some kids. Isn't that sad?Some kids just can't recognize or don't want to recognize love and care. I think I would have to play her game. Be pleasant, provide food and shelter for her, and a ride to work if that's your agreement. But beyond that, I wouldn't even try to discuss it again. Leave her alone for a while, but continue to maintain the family rules that have been established. Don't allow her words or lack of them to hurt you anymore by trying so hard. Expend your energy and love on the children who want it right now and let this girl have some time to herself if that's what she seems to want.
I do wish you the very best of luck with this situation. It has to be stressful on your marriage to be put in the middle of this situation. It is hard!!! And I feel for you all, including your husband, who wants to be the "good" guy to everyone.
With best intentions,
Logan
Edit: I would NOT change your mind about the permit until she has earned the right, Kim. (Just sent you a PM with some personal thoughts, too)
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