Originally posted by lizbud
While I would not comment on your family problems with your
step daughter, I will say one thing. I feel very sorry for this child.
She has an emotionally distant Father & a Mother who doesn't
love her. How sad is that? The teenage years are hard without
a strong support system at home.
I sure hope you're referring to her BIRTH mother as not loving her. Because I Love that kid tremendously. If I did not, I would just sit back and let her screw up her life doing god knows what and not care one fig. As for my husband, he is the most loving and compassionate father I've ver met -- thats how I fell in love with him -- seeing how much his kids meant to him.

She HAS a support system. At home, and with other family members. SHE chooses not to open up and utilize her opportunities to talk. WHICH IS MY WHOLE DILEMMA.

Its sad that you are taking my heartache and turning into fuel for fire. If I thought she was not worth the fight then I would have left a loonnnng time ago. Being a step parent is a zillion times harder than a birth parent because you have to deal with the child's preconception of you, their emotional scars from the deterioration of their real parent's relationship, the courts system's total blindness toward you (stepparents have NO legal rights whatsoever in the court system), and the relationship of the missing parent, ON TOP of all the other parenting duties you might ordinarily face. PLUS... its unspoken, but always there in the minds of all involved: I am NOT their mother. Which is fine, I accept that. But I won't ever accept that they are not loved by me or my husband.