United front... HA! It won't happen unless I shut up and ignore everyting and just let her make her own mistakes. I suppose I should, but I can't help but stop her from making harmful choices!
Unfortunately this is not seen as me caring, but seen as me being a mean and hurtful person who is just on the lookout for her to mess up. Truly this is not the case!

I DID talk to hubby last night. His opinion? She and I need ot work it out and both stop being so stubborn (his favorite phrase when it gets this bad) and we both need to "grow up" -- no... HE needs to step in and tell his DAUGHTER what's going to happen. I was floored when he said that. He just can't say no to her and he can't punish her. I think he's physically unable to. She's always been his little girl and he can't seem to do anything to make her hate him even the littleest bit.

Counseling is completely out. He won't even hear of it. I've TRIED for 4 years with her. We were close last year, if she did one more stupid thing at the time, we would have gone. He was so fed up with her, then she straightened out for a few months. So then he forgot.