Carole,

Boy, that IS alot of baggage to carry around all those years. But, you have every right to feel the way you do.

I grew up always having my grandparents around (my Mom's parents, that is). I was very close to my Nanny. I spent every weekend at their house, and went to church with Nanny every Sunday.

My daughter Amy, however, was slighted when it came to having a relationship with her grandfather (my Dad) and her uncle (my only brother, can you see a pattern here??)

My father, who was an alcoholic, became a recluse after his second wife (my stepmonster) passed away. THAT alone is a whole other story. So it was up to ME to bring my daughter over to his house, if I wanted them to have any kind of relationship. Seeing her grandfather with a drink in his hand all the time really upset her. He tried to buy her love by slipping her money. But she was really hurt that he didn't make any kind of an effort to see her on his own. My stepmother had ALOT to do with it. I could tell you if my Mom were alive, the situation would be totally different!!

When my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 16, he went to see her in the hospital ONCE! He told me it hurt him deeply to see her so vulnerable and helpless.

My brother has only seen his only niece twice in her entire life. Once when she was an infant, and again at my father's memorial service. He and his second wife (who I do NOT like) pretty much keep to themselves.

Believe me Carole, I understand where you're coming from. I have apologized to my daughter profusely for my totally disfunctional family. She says she understands, although deep down inside I know she is still hurt. She does have a wonderful relationship with her stepmother's parents who live in Florida. For that I am grateful.

My favorite saying is..."God created friends to apologize for bad relatives!!"