Kirsten I think a lot of us can relate to you in this matter. When we were younger or less educated in cat matters, we did what we thought was right. Our motives may have been good, but sometimes the outcome was not.

I think of Tom, a cat I had 30 years ago. He was a stray that my neighbor talked me into taking. I took care of him, but probably not as well as I should have (I was divorced with 2 young children and a very small salary).

We went away on a rare trip for a few days and came back to find that Tom had gone to the RB while we were gone.

I still feel guilty about him and hopes that he forgives me. I'd give anything to have him back again.

Do not beat yourself up about this. You did the best you could at the time.

The best thing we all can do is take care of our furry family members the best way possible and love them a lot.