Kuhio (my RB kitty):
I love you. I always have and I always will.
You’re the best kitty in the WHOLE WIDE HOUSE.

(Sung to the tune of Felix the cat cartoon)
Kuhio the cat
the wonderful, wonderful cat
you’ll laugh so much
your sides will ache
your heart will go pitter-pat
She’s Kuhio
the wonderful cat

How’s my Princess girl girl?
Kit’n kitty, curly girl

Halo:
I love you
Thank you for healing my broken heart.

(Sung to the tune of Hello Dolly)
Well hello, Halo
Well hello, Halo
It’s so nice to have you here
Where you belong.
You’re looking swell, Halo
I can tell, Halo
You’re still going
You’re still growing
You’re still going strong.

Halo, there’s not a mean bone in your whole body.
How’s my chubba dubba girl?
Do you want some chin chins and cheek cheeks? (scritchies)
Do you know what you’re doing? (when she attempts to tenderize/make bisquits).
Why are you sleeping in the tub?
Are you my bathtime buddy?
Halo, that’s very dangerous (she runs to get in front of you and then crashes to the floor for belly rubs. We’ve managed to avoid stepping on her so far).

Pepper:
Whatcha doing Pep?
How’s my Pepper Pea Pod Pie?
What DO you want? (Pepper talks a lot and it always sounds like a complaint).
Yeah? Well, then what happened? (She’s still meowing and it sounds like she’s telling us a story).
We’re in here. (when she yowls at the tops of her lungs looking for us)
Pepper, my heart is going to give out long before yours (after she’s done some death-defying feat. She has a profound heart murmur and the vet said she wouldn’t live a long life, but she’s packing a lot of living into whatever years she has).
Pepper, you are my adrenaline junky kitty. If you were human, you’d be a bungie jumping, sky diving, mountain climbing person.
Yeah, you’re delicate all right! (after yet another death defying act).
You’re going to outlive us all!

Cammie: (who barely tolerates me but worships the ground my husband walks on)
He’s not home, Cammie. You’re just going to have to make do with me.
Yes, he’ll be back. Don’t worry.
Oh, I barely touched you. (she squeaks in annoyance if I pet her).
What did I ever do to you? You’re the only kitty I’ve ever known who didn’t like me.
Yes, while Dad’s gone, I’m going to put lit cigarettes out on you as usual. (This is said with much sarcasm and eye rolling because she acts like I regularly torture her. I’ve never hurt a kitty in my life and no one in the house smokes.)

(Sung to the tune of "Tammy" a Debbie Reynolds movie from the 50’s. Instead of Tammy, Tammy, Tammy’s in love, I sing).
"Cammie, Cammie, Cammie loves Bob" (hubby).


To all kitties when they turn up their noses their canned food ~ Ya know, there are kitties starving all over the world….

You all are so much help. I can’t believe I survived all these years without you supervising me.
Bob, can (insert cat name here) come into the bathroom with you?
(Poor Bob hasn’t had any privacy in the bathroom in a looooooong time). Our master bath has 2 entrances and Pepper can usually be found at one door while Cammie is at the other.