I know what you mean about a cat going off by itself when you want him/her to stay with you- Vinny refuses to sleep in our bedroom at night. Our two dogs sleep with us every night- Gemma (a twenty-one pound sheltie-poo) sleeps on our bed cuddled up to me, and Robbie (a forty-two pound wheaten-poo) sleeps in his cosy drop-and-flop beside our bed. There would be plenty of room for Vinny on our bed, which is a king, but he just will not stay on it. He also has a bed on the floor at the foot of our bed, which he also ignores. I get jealous when I read about peoples' cats sleeping between their pillows. Vinny will do this during the day, but not at night! He gets along fine with the dogs, so I know that this is not a factor.