Originally posted by moosmom
Okay, I may make some people angry but I've gotta say this.

What is wrong with adopting so many unwanted older children in the U.S.???

My childhood best friend is a foster parent in Connecticut. I also have a cousin who adopted a son from the Czech Republic 3 years ago, and is trying to adopt another child from the same place.
As a former child protection worker, I can speak to some of this. It is extremely difficult to adopt a child out of the foster system. First, most of them want to maintain a relationship with their biological parents. Adoptive parents may not want abusive people in their children's life and may not be able to or comfortable policing that interaction with bio-parents. It's very difficult to completely sever a biological parents right to a child, no matter what they did to the kid.

Even when the kids in permanent government care, the parents are still informed of plans and decision. Parents often have visiting rights, especially for holidays and special occasions, even in the kid is in care for good. Permanent care orders are also revokable. If the parent gets their act together, they can apply to the court to have their chidlren returned. Many children refuse adoption (older kids have to give their consent to be adopted) as they are holding on to hope that their parent will someday regain their care.

Kids in foster care also are often special needs. It takes a special kind of person to devote their life to raising a child with Fetal Alcohol syndrome. Many of these kids will never be able to function on their own. They will be children forever. That's not a task many people are up to.

The restrictions on adoption limit options. In Canada, you can't adopt a First Nations child unless you are also native and preferably from the same band. Over half of the kids in foster care in Canada are native. There simply aren't enough healthy homes from their own heritage to take them all.

Age is a huge issue for adopting. I have a good friend who is 50, his wife is in her late 30's. They were told they were too old to adopt a child in Canada, even an older child. He's a lawyer, she's a teacher. They are wealthy, settled, lovely people who happen to be infertile. They went to China and adopted a little girl who is the centre of their world now!

Ever smoke pot as a teenager? Don't tell someone doing an adoption home study. You will be denied. Even if you are now a professional 40 year old who does nothing worse than a beer on friday night.

Gay, lesbian? Chances are they will find a reason not to adopt to you without saying it's your sexual orientation. Sad, but true.

So for alot of people, it's not that much hassle, red tape or even money. They want a child and can't have one or adopt one here. So they look to foreign countries to find their children.