Sorrie we'z been a bit *remiss* in UppyDatin onna Bowzer Tailz -
been a lil *bizzie* round da Ranch of late!

So How'z He Doing - REALLY??

He's doin JEST **FINE**!!
Eben da KAT thinkz he's "OK"!!

Matter a fakt - iffn da Kat had any say inna matter -
Bowzie wuld get ta "stay" an ole Cinnerz an SmokeMutt
wuld get *da BOOT* fur bein such Painz inna Kat'z @$$!

We HAVE had our share uv Trialz & Tribulations wiffa lil Guy;
but nuffin da kant be FurGiven aftur
a big <GRINN> anna few <WAVEZ> uvva Fliffie Tail!

Egg-zampulz inklude ...

Few weeks ago - anudder Huntin Trip ~
We all walked down ta get da mail ...
All three uv us <SAT> (well, Bowz <STOOD>) whilst Dad krossed da road
ta do da fetch outta da box.
Onna way back to da Howze, we all "de-toured" ober by da pond an
Dad got closer to da howz than we wuz... He called "Here, Guyz!".

Ebberbuddie <STARTED> ta "come" - till Bowz started <lookin> at Dad
an den ober atta WOODZ across da road...

Old Habbitz must be hard ta break ...
Da Urge ta HUNT gotz da best of ole Bowz ...
He headed fur da Road anna Woodz - Dad <Hollered> - Bowz stopped an
sorta came back ... Dad walked towardz him - <callin> ...
Bowzie <flipped & flopped> tween "come" an "go" ...

"Go Huntin" won out - Zippity-*ZOOM* an da ole Boy wuz across
da road an lookin fur "game" inna woodz!

Me (Cinnerz) an Dad started out onna footz - walkin an callin tween da
road anna woodz ... nuffin!

Dad sed "NUTZ!" (well he sed a few NAW-Tee wurdz, too) an we headed
back ta get da Bus fur a mo-bile search.
On Da Road Agin!
Onlee gotz a kupple howzes down an stopped ta <holler> -
Dad looked inna Lookin-Back glass an SEEZ da Bowz run across da
road aftur da Bus! Da lil Turkie wuz already back on OUR sidda da road!

Dad hopped out an opened da back door .. "C-mon, Bowz - HOPP IN!"
Course he hadda *pee* onna telly-pole an danze around a bit;
but he DID hopp rite in!
We took a lil *spin* around da block ta keep Bowzie thinkin da Bus
izza *Phunn Place* ta be ...
Dad wuz trying ta say "Happie - Gud Boy'z" tween <klenched toofiez>!

Dad ses he learned anudder Lessin - ta <WATCH> da SunBall!
It wuz jest gettin towardz "dusk" - dat must be da Bow'z most
Favorite Tyme ta GO Huntin!
Durrin DAY-lite, Bowz duz his outiez free azza Burd wiff us -
an <stayz> inna yard;
"dusk" an "dark" - he'z onna leash or da tether!
-------

An we had a kuppla "Ax-kadentz" inna howze!
Dunno when da furst wun happened - Bowsz usually stickz purdy KLOZE
ta Dad (he's a reel Velcro Dawg) - mitta been durrin da nite.
We woke up a week or two ago an wuz headed fur da frunt door fur an
outie when Bowzie trotted inna live/dine room an jest <hiked> a leg an
didda *PEE* onna rug sukker parked onna toss-rug!

OMG! Da <HOLLERIN> dat went on!
Bowzie got a <Fast Klip> to da tether an <BOOTED> out da door!
We heard Dad *fussin* an *HOLLERIN* fur a Long Tyme.
Durin Kleen-Up he found da FURST "Wet Spot" rite asside da
"fresh wun" - MORE *HOLLERIN*!!

Hazzint been anudder "wet spot" fur a long tyme;
but Dad <klipz> Bowz to ta BigBed foot (when he 'memburz ta do it)
in order ta reduce da "temp-tashinz" for Bowz ta wander at nite.
An Bowzie iz "en-kouraged" to "Stay OUTTA da waddur bowl!" aftur 9 PM!
------------------------

Dad keepz thinkin da Bowzer Boy has FINALLY learned to <SIT>!
(It'z *whishfull thinkin*, we think!)

Since he bekame a TREET-FREEK, Dad "in-sistz" he <SIT> to get a treet!
<SIT!>, Bowz! (Treet bein held rite in fronta hiz noze)

<BLANK STARE> frumma Bowz, Tail <wavin> like a flag inna wind.

<SIT>!, Bowz! (Continued Blank Stare, Tail <wavin>)

Now da "Approved by Dawggie Skewel" method of "encouragin" a <SIT>
iz ta reach down an under da rear end an <push forward> onna KNEE jointz -
which <foldz up> da rear legz - Dawg "hazta <SIT>!"

Well, iffin ya 'member, da Bowz izza bit "short inna legz" -
which means fur Dad ta be able to "reach under" he hazta get DOWN
onna floor ta have enuff arm ta almost touch da floor az he <sweeps>
unner Bowzie's rear end an tries t <find> da knee jointz!

Dad found a New Way - "Dad Approved"!
Since Bowz has a BUNCHA FURR - which sorta "standz up" stedda
layin down flat - it makes a Great "HANDLE" back there onna RUMP ~

So NOW da <SIT> Drill goez sumpin like diss ...

Step 1:
"<SIT!>, Bowz" - alluz followed by da <Blank Stare>,
<wavin> Tail, an All Four firmly planted inna purfikt <STAND>!

Step 2:
Dad attachez left hand-paw to a paw-full of Bowzie Rear-End FLUFF,
and gently <pullz> Back & Down ...

Step 3:
<*PLOP*> an Bowzie folds up into a PURR-fikt <SIT> ebery tyme!
(Fluffie Tail eben pickz up a lil speed!)

Step 4:
"GOOD <SIT>, Bowz!!" (Treet presented an <Gobbled>!)

Step 5:
Firm Grip <released> on Rear-End Fluff ...

Step 6:
(mid gobble) - the Rear-End <springs> back up to a <STAND> pozition!

Step 7:
Dad =

Da SKORE??
In 4 months, an about a THOUZAND <SIT> Drills -
aktual <SIT>z wiffout "assistance" = THREE
"Assisted <SIT>z" = 997!

An dont tell Dad - but doze THREE "successful <SIT>z" are "suspect" ...

Bowzie izint a big "Jumper" - not verry oftin duz he <jump> up or
eben <reach up> wiffa frunt pawz - "4 onna Floor" iz fine wiff him!
BUTT ~
Ebery Wunst inna while he getz all wound up an triez ta immytate
us Big Dawgz doin our <SIT> - <BEG> - <Shake> an <KISS> drill
dat WE hafta do da get a Louzie Bisquit ...

He sorta duz a lil <jump> ta get da Frunt End UP fur da <BEG> part;
anna Back End kinda KO-lapsez inta a sorta <SIT> ~
then he sorta <stays> there, thinkin he Dun da Trick!

Well ... Dear ole Dad jest goze *BALLISTIK wiff JOY*!!
"He DUN it!! ~ He <SAT>!! ~ GUD <SIT>, Bowz!! ~ Have anudder treet!"

GUD GRIEF!
Ya'd think he Wun da Lottery!

Stay Tuned ~
We'z purdy sure there'll be More Bowser Tailz ta come!

..