I know exactly how you feel. When my aunt, who used to dislike dogs very much, first moved down here and started visiting a lot.. she'd basically, in my opinion, terrorize the dogs.

They couldn't move in their own home, couldn't sit on their furniture, couldn't "eat too loud", play too loud, couldn't do what they wanted (of course what they wanted to do are what they are generally allowed to do under my rule)

She'd completely run their lives and mine. My parents never understood WHY I was so angry with her all the time. They'd get mad at me for not wanting to come out of my room when she was over (i'd take the dogs and sit in my room the whole night until she left)
I don't know HOW many arguments we've gotten into over the years.

After years and years, she's finally understood how much my dogs mean to me. This past Christmas she made me a "Certificate of Appreciation" "from" the dogs to me as my gift. It's very cute and involves completely my dogs - it's signed as "Three Greatful Dogs". That's HUGE step and i've got to say she's my favorite aunt now. She will even pet the dogs and let them sit by her. She's said that if she HAD to have a dog that she'd want that dog to be one of mine.

Anyways, sorry for blabbering on in your thread. All I meant to say is that I understand how you're feeling because it happened with me for a long while.
Hopefully your situation will turn out as nicely as mine, and Lily can peacefully live in her own home with friendly visitors.