Terri Schiavo - so sad :(

[Samantha Puppy]

That's one of my main arguments with people who stand there and bash her parents. While maybe their course of action wasn't necessarily the right one, can they honestly say that THEY would stand by and let their child's spouse make what they feel to be absolutely WRONG decisions? That actually quiets a good many of the people I talk to.

My mother is one of those very spiritual, "don't let me live like that" type of people but even SHE said that if something like that happened to me and she believed in her heart and soul that my husband was making the wrong decisions regarding me, my welfare and fate, she would fight him.

I have to say, even though I'm not yet a mother, I would do the same thing for my children.

[lbaker]

I do have a daughter. Also a son. Also several grandsons. My mother recently died after a rather long painful illness, and yes.. she had a DNR notice and we had no doubts about what she did and did not want to have her last few months/weeks/days like. But I would pray to be honest enough with myself to know the difference between involuntary nerve spasms and recognition. Also to know the difference between wishful thinking and raw, cold reality.

[Samantha Puppy]

Originally posted by lbaker
I do have a daughter. Also a son. Also several grandsons. My mother recently died after a rather long painful illness, and yes.. she had a DNR notice and we had no doubts about what she did and did not want to have her last few months/weeks/days like. But I would pray to be honest enough with myself to know the difference between involuntary nerve spasms and recognition. Also to know the difference between wishful thinking and raw, cold reality.

True. But don't you think, as a mother, that seeing your child in a horrible, no-hope state for 15+ years would be more devastating than losing her to death? I would. That is the one thing that keeps me from being selfish when thinking of what I'd do in this situation with my husband. It would kill me to go to him every day, seeing him like that, than it would be to lose him to death and know that he was in peace. UNLESS I *knew* that he wasn't just experiencing involuntary nerve spasms, etc. Know what I mean?

I understand BOTH sides of the story, in all honesty (well, except for the fact that Michael has a girlfriend and children while still married to a woman in Terri's condition, which I think is despicable). We will never, ever know the cold hard truth so all we have to go on is what we read and what we feel we would do in a similar situation. I pray for all of those involved, most expecially Terri. She truly is getting the raw end of the deal.

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Originally posted by Pam
Caseysmom, Fox News just now stated again that Florida law requires an autopsy for a cremation. (Sheppard Smith reporting)

Catland, I have seen nothing that indicates she is brain dead.

Plus the most misunderstood organ in the body is the brain. There is about 50% of it that they have no idea what it does or is capable of doing. Who knows but what it could take over some of the functions of other parts of the brain if it needed to?

One thing to think about (and yes, it applied to my family when my dad died) is Terri's family have loved her her entire life. The husband is just a stranger (to them at least) who married their daughter and may / or may not really love her.

When you've loved someone your entire life (or theirs), it's hard to sit by and watch someone else (that you may not trust completely), make decisions for your loved one that you don't agree with.

My dad was in a coma when my step mom made the decision to take him off a feeding tube. He would still respond to my voice but no one else's. I knew he had a DNR and a living will but I still didn't agree with her decision. He was dying anyway, there was no reason to put him through dehydration and starvation too.

[Pam]

Originally posted by lbaker
I would pray to be honest enough with myself to know the difference between involuntary nerve spasms and recognition. Also to know the difference between wishful thinking and raw, cold reality.

Laurie I would certainly pray that you never have to weigh these facts nor, God forbid, should any of us have to. That's why all of the dialog. My dad lingered for 6 years after a severely incapaciting stroke. Many times he expressed that he would like to die. Of course there were just as many days that he laughed and enjoyed life and was thankful to be alive. I know Terri's situation is quite a bit different, but when we don't know for sure we should not be so quick to judge what really is raw, cold reality. I don't feel I am adequate to assess this and I certainly don't feel good trusting the medical community to tell me what they feel is going on either. I would much rather err on the side of my loved one and life before trusting "outsiders' opinions." It is a personal decision I know, but unless there is a living will no one really knows and I don't believe it is right to assume. (I sound like a broken record. Sorry. ) Ripley says hi by the way!

[tortuga55]

I think of the situation this way....
If she wanted to die she would have long ago, people who do not want to get better do not. The will to live works in two ways, it helps you live and it helps you die. I think the parents know what is best for her.
The idea that he sued the doctors for money to take care of her and then decides that she wanted to die when he has a girl friend seems fishy. I personally would want my mom to make the decision, she hears god and god would tell my mom what I wanted. I dont know what it is like to be in that state so I can not decide if it is worth giving up over.
Terri obviously thinks its worth living, or she would have died long ago. She would have given up. They say when coma patents wake up they are awaire of everything that went on while they were asleep, why would she not be able to tell whats going on around her.

[carole]

I have read most of this thread and found it very interesting and informative, I have not followed this situation entirely, so some of the revelations here were suprising.

In all honesty I cannot see how anyone could find the parents selfish, as a parent I fully understand where they are coming from, and I also find it terrible that the husband has more rights than the parent, who carried that baby, gave birth and nutured her to womanhood, he is merely a stranger she fell in love with and married, of course he has rights, but it should be equal IMO.

The media hype does so much damage, one never knows what to believe about her husband, one can only say that the parents have no alterior motives, how could they? but that he possibly could.

I have mixed emotions on this one, I think if it were me I would let my child die, but then I also strongly believe no-one really knows until faced with this situation.

One positive thing about this, it has got people talking within their families , making live wills, expressing their wishes, my son said to me the other day, he would not under any circumstances wish to live if he were like Terri, that is something I would have to consider lord forbide it ever happened to my family.

It is a sad situation all over, and one can only feel compassion and sadness for all concerned.

It does sound so cruel to starve her to death, but some are saying it is painless, however my thoughts are How do they really know this? it is always in the back of my mind, yes we are kinder to our pets and let them die quickly and with dignity.

I felt horrified to think they may try at this stage to revive her (correct me if I am wrong in this understanding) if the parents won their appeal, would that in itself not be cruel, if even possible.

[tortuga55]

I heard the husband is going to have her obtopsied when she dies to quote "prove to the media how saverly brain damaged she was." She is not dead yet and he talks as if she is. When my grandfater died it took weeks to talk as if he was really gone. Why does he feel he has to prove that his decision to kill her was the right one. If he believes he is right why prove it to everyone. Maybe he wants to prove he was right to himself?

[LKPike]

Originally posted by KYS
.
G-d be with them.

don't take this personally because I'm honestly not targeting you only! I've seen several people doing this but your the first one I saw in this post, ...

off topic, but why is everyone online lately saying G-d, instead of God?? [[or doG]] Maybe I missed the meeting to decide god is now a dirty word? or are "we" all just that chicken of words?

buckbuck-buckcuck!

[caseysmom]

On a side note, this is a very controversial issue and everyone is being very civil about it....props to all of us!

[lbaker]

Thank you Pam, I put my two cents in early but then decided to drop out because I didn't want my own feelings to reflect on anyone elses' opinions of me, or of me on them. I dearly love and respect those of yours, Logans, Donnas' and all - that may differ in several respects.. but we still can be dear friends and have much in common. That is what makes us a bit more mature about the whole matter I hope. I didn't want those feelings to change our relationships. I think that this board can be helpful and knowledgeable for all of us as long as we maintain our dignity and respect. I just knew, Pam, that Badger and Ripley probably P.M.'ed each other and said... let it be Sometimes I think our lifemate pets are wiser than we are. Excuse me but Badger is barking at me right now and I must see to him

[KYS]

LKPike:
but why is everyone online lately saying G-d, instead of God?? ] Maybe I missed the meeting to decide god is now a dirty word? or are "we" all just that chicken of words? >>>>>>>

Not taken personally at all.
I was taught never say
G-d's name in vein.
It is out of respect. Just like a person would where
wear a hat or scarf when
you are in a religious place.

[Buddy Blaze Lover]

Originally posted by tortuga55
I heard the husband is going to have her obtopsied when she dies to quote "prove to the media how saverly brain damaged she was." She is not dead yet and he talks as if she is. When my grandfater died it took weeks to talk as if he was really gone. Why does he feel he has to prove that his decision to kill her was the right one. If he believes he is right why prove it to everyone. Maybe he wants to prove he was right to himself?

I heard that too!! This whole thing makes me so sad for Terri and the entire family...this is a HUMAN being people! How can Michael and these judges do this?? Did anyone see that talk by that lady who had something like the same thing that Terri has, and came out of it?? There IS hope, if people will just give her a chance!! But unfortunately, everyone's just calling her a "vegetable." *sigh*

KYS--me too--but I think you can use God's name when you mean it in a reverent way, not in "vain."

[moosmom]

I heard on the news tonight that Rev. Jesse Jackson is now on his soapbox. Where the hell was he when all this was happening. I swear this guy is never happy until he's the center of attention.

[chelsea]

I find the fact that everyone is making such a big deal over someone that was gone years ago very upseting. In that same state a little girl was RAPED AND MURDERED by a sick subhuman being that should have been in jail instead of out stalking little children. Terri's case is sad but it is a family matter and not a crime. However we should be putting all of our efferts into protecting our children. Where are all of the protestors demanding that our children should be kept safe from convicted child molesters!! Where is your outrage over the rape and murder of poor nine year old Jessica!?! Take a look at the number of registered sex offenders in your county, I did and the numbers shocked me and outraged me, especially when I read that all they got in a lot of cases was probation.