I had a suspicion about the ADHD. I know SO MANY kids with it and have ADD myself. And if he has additional 'co-morbid' disorders with it, like 'Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, and possible Bipolar Disorder' as you said, (Which is VERY common) that makes it even tougher to control.

Two of the biggest problems with these disorders is that they involve an imbalance of brain chemicals, of which there is no reliable way to test, measure or monitor. Dosing of medication is something you just have to try and often have to adjust, almost constantly. With multiple disorders, the different medicines required can cause their own problems. The other thing is that you're dealing with TEENAGERs - who are unpredictable at best and totally out of control at worst, even WITHOUT any kind of disorder or disability.

Now there are loads of people who 'don't believe' in these disorders - they think that 'discipline' or a 'good kick in the pants' is all the 'cure' a kid like this needs. There are others who think that tossing medication at the kid is going to 'solve' the problem.

Neither will work, and both are necessary. you need medication, consistant behavior plans, coping skills and LOADS of patience.

The really frustrating thing is that just as soon as you think you've worked something out and come to some kind of plateu, where parents and teachers can take a breather - those nasty hormones kick in or something else happens, and the entire precarious balance is toppled and you have to start all over again.

What works today is useless tomorrow. It's EXTREMEMLY frustrating for the kid and everyone around him.

I have always been EXTREMELY lucky in that my son's ADHD never took an agressive, defiant or violent form, as many do. I was always able to channel his impulsive, loud, rambunctious tendancies into more constructive outlets - and was able to see when he was 'overloading' and remove him from situations before they got out of control for him. Because I've been a single parent, since he was 2 - I've been able to give him the attention he needed and spent alot of time feeding his need for stimulation - camping trips, museums, parks, exploring, building stuff. And when Jon truly is trying and people get frustrated with him - I fight for him tooth and nail. When he slacks off, and DOESN'T try, I sympathise, but I STILL hold him accountable.


since I know how it feels to have my own head out of control with ADD - I understand what these kids go thru. it isn't something THEY can control - the impulsivity of ADD is just THERE. sometimes it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion - you see it happening, know it's happening to YOU, and you're helpless to do anything about it. Things that are simple for 'normal' people, like showing up on time, remembering to turn in assignments, knowing where you left your keys - these things take ENOURMOUS effort for people with ADD - some days are better than others, and it gets extrememly tiring just to get thru life.

My son is currently tanking three courses in High school, mostly because those teachers would not make the effort to communicate with me early, and directly when he first missed assignments, and did not take me seriously when I warned them and his counselor that Tristan's Cancer and immenent death was going to destroy any fragile balance Jon had for awhile. Our dog, Tristan, was truly like my child and Jon's brother, and for the months before and after his death, Jon did almost NO homework, failed tests, and missed alot of school, simply from depression of losing Tristan.

I was dealing with some depression issues myself, and since no one was complaining, I assumed Jon was OK. Wrong.

I don't know why people, especially adult teachers, can be so stupid - just because Jon wasn't bleeding all over the floor or throwing fits every day, didn't mean his heart wasn't torn apart at losing his best friend! how is he supposed to concentrate on conjugating Spanish verbs when he is in such pain?

this kid is 'throwing fits' BECAUSE he's lost control. I don't know the whole situation - but I'm willing to bet that there were signs before the fit in WalMart that he was on edge.

You don't take a toddler into a fancy restaurant when it's supposed to be naptime and he's tired and hungy; you KNOW the kid is going to end up screaming and no one is going to have a good time.

Similarly, with ADD kids, you watch for signs that they are 'on the edge' and REMOVE them from the situation. Eventually, you can teach THEM to watch for the signs themselves and teach them to avoid potential problems themselves. Until then, they don't have the coping skills and the maturity to control themselves.

it sounds like this family is doing everything they can. I'll certainly add them to my prayers, as I can truly feel for what they are going thru.

Laura