I had a really good friend. Male. He was the sweetest kindest most gentle man I've known. Fast forward two years, his wife tells me he's beating her and she has the bruises to prove it. She moves in with me and I call the cops on him. I don't care HOW stressed, depressed, drunk, drugged or screwed up you are, in my book, YOU NEVER HIT A WOMAN. And any man that would do so under any condition is no man. Even if the wife was beating on him, walk away. Drive somewhere. Get away. Whatever it takes. It's not a double standard,it's physics. I don't care, the man is ALWAYS stronger than the woman.
We took the wife to counseling and she lived with us for quite some time while she got her act together. Well a year after she moved out to start her new life, she was back with him. At that point we figured we'd done all we could and threw our hands up. She was capable of making her own decisions and she chose.
I never regretted making those choices. I lost a good friend and in the end it may have ended the same but it was the right thing to do.
These people are impacting YOUR life as well and you have every right to expect peace and to be able to sleep at night. Call the cops and cut the ties if need be.
Claudia