LOL LOL
ROTFL

These are just hilarious!!! I still can't stop laughing over some of those first ones.

"Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself. "
"We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans’ bed while they’re trying to sleep."
"I will not play “dead cat on the stairs” while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true. When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them. "



Heeeheeeeheeee,,,,
Just too, too funny!

The sad part is they are funny because we know they are true and either have happened to us already, or we wouldn't be surprised if they happened to us any day now.