Debbie I would like to apologize if I in any way offended you with my response. I just felt like this wasn't ever going to work. Your latest posts explain things a little better.
The sad thing is Meka may never change but then again she may settle as time goes by. She certainly sounds like a little booger! She also reminds me a lot of Leroy because he wants attention and he doesn't care if it's bad or good as long as he gets it! He will do bad things over and over and over knowing that he is going to get into trouble.
Example:
Every single night he goes to hubby's surround sound speaker and starts pulling at the fabric front. He knows this is a major NO NO but he does it anyway. He will actually look at us while he is doing it! We yell LEROY NO! He stares at us and keeps pulling. I'm fussing and hubby's fussing and I'm trying to get around Magoo to get out my chair and make him stop. He's still looking at us and pulling. Just about the time hubby or I are about to get him he cries really loud and rolls over like we beat him! Which has never happened. Then he jumps up into my lap and curls up and takes a nap! This is only one example of the things he does on a daily basis.
Now, Leroy has never been denied my lap or loving attention. Why does he have to be bad before he comes to my lap for attention? He was really young when we got him so it doesn't have anything to do with his past. Why can't he simply jump into my lap first and not get himself into trouble? Who knows!!
My point is that this is his weird personality and we have had him for five years now and nothing has ever changed him. Meka may never change but she should mellow some with age. That may take a long time or it may never happen.
The reason I keep mentioning rehoming is that Meka makes you and your hubby reach a very high frustration level and that is not good for any of you. Time and patience may make a huge difference. It sounds like you have already made lots of progress but I just want you to be aware that she may not change as much as you would like. I really do feel with time and your continuing efforts you can curb some of her behaviour but just remember that you are not going to be able to change her personality.
I know I wasn't much help but I want to give the most honest response that I can. I really do wish only the best for you, hubby and for Meka.